Jesus never ate bacon.

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#1 Posted by mindstorm (15250 posts) -

This is just a simple example of how much Jesus gave up for your behalf.

Discuss.

#2 Posted by sonicare (53650 posts) -

He missed out.

#3 Posted by alexside1 (4405 posts) -
No bacon? How could this be!? HOW CAN ANYONE NEVER EAT BACON!?
#4 Posted by Oleg_Huzwog (21885 posts) -

I expected better from you.

#5 Posted by Fightingfan (38011 posts) -
Jesus was black too I hear.
#6 Posted by Aljosa23 (26183 posts) -

well duh, how could someone that never existed eat anything

#7 Posted by toast_burner (22858 posts) -

If he hadn't eaten bacon then he knows nothing of the joys of life. Why should anyone take advice from him?

#8 Posted by KiIIyou (27157 posts) -
Why not?
#9 Posted by comp_atkins (32168 posts) -
he is no savior of mine then...
#10 Posted by Pirate700 (46465 posts) -

He missed out.

sonicare

Big time.

#11 Posted by Allicrombie (25580 posts) -

Baby Chewbacca Approves.

babychewbacca_26954_640screen.jpg

#12 Posted by mingmao3046 (2670 posts) -
okay.
#13 Posted by hiphops_savior (8079 posts) -
So many Jews have missed out on the joys of bacon. What a shame. Thank the Lord he died for us so we can enjoy bacon.
#14 Posted by RationalAtheist (4424 posts) -

This is just a simple example of how much Jesus gave up for your behalf.

Discuss.

mindstorm

"It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man."
Then the disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this statement?"But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father did not plant shall be uprooted."Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit."

[Matthew 15: 10-12]


#15 Posted by The__Kraken (858 posts) -

Like this Jesus fellow, Hitler also did not eat bacon. It is a well known fact that evil people don't eat bacon, so Hitler and Jesus not eating it does not surprise me one bit.

#16 Posted by Pittfan666 (8542 posts) -
No wonder the body of Christ tastes bland when it's given during Communion.
#17 Posted by airshocker (31210 posts) -

:lol: +1

#18 Posted by Storm_Marine (12215 posts) -

He never ate calamari or lobster either I'm guessing.

#19 Posted by m0zart (11568 posts) -

Heh well he certainly didn't. But he seems to have had an affinity for fresh kosher fish.

#20 Posted by sune_Gem (12463 posts) -

Why?

#21 Posted by CycleOfViolence (2813 posts) -

He died for our bacon

#22 Posted by Planeforger (16384 posts) -
You're assuming that he followed his Jewish beliefs faithfully...which seems like a weird assumption to make, considering how many changes he and his friends made to the prevailing doctrines of the time.
#23 Posted by ZX81plus3 (181 posts) -

Like this Jesus fellow, Hitler also did not eat bacon. It is a well known fact that evil people don't eat bacon, so Hitler and Jesus not eating it does not surprise me one bit.

The__Kraken
Hitler was not a vegetarian. He just wanted people to think that he was. So Hitler most probably ate a lot of Bacon.
#24 Posted by SirWander (5176 posts) -

Why?

sune_Gem

he was jewish

#25 Posted by Omni-Wrath (1970 posts) -

They didn't have bacon back in the ole days.

#26 Posted by sune_Gem (12463 posts) -

[QUOTE="sune_Gem"]

Why?

SirWander

he was jewish

I had no idea Jews prohibited that. Why would they? It's natural to eat meat from any kind of animal I thought.

#27 Posted by smokingsbad (38455 posts) -
His loss.
#28 Posted by BenedictArnold7 (743 posts) -

Yes, God sent his son to die for the sins he allowed the people he created to commit. Then instead of just forgiving us he let us suffer for thousands and thousands of years.

#29 Posted by MacBoomStick (1822 posts) -

He sounds like a pvssy.

#30 Posted by wis3boi (32063 posts) -

Of course he didn't, he made cake instead!

Ezekiel 4:12

And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.

#31 Posted by muller39 (14944 posts) -

He's more of a tofu bacon kind of guy.

#32 Posted by Nengo_Flow (10644 posts) -
Jesus was black too I hear. Fightingfan
far from it... He was Arab looking guy
#33 Posted by m0zart (11568 posts) -

[QUOTE="Fightingfan"]Jesus was black too I hear. Nengo_Flow
far from it... He was Arab looking guy

Yes, that's certainly likely. Anyone who has seen certain Sephardic and other Middle Eastern Jews like Karaites knows that they are often times just barely distinguishable from Arabs. Even then there's a slightly ligher skin tone and certain facial features that sometimes stand out, but they aren't usually enough to make a solid distinction absent other non-genetic factors (such as outward religious implements of Jews).

#34 Posted by CKYguy25 (2087 posts) -

He missed out.

sonicare

yes he did

#35 Posted by JogsterXL (299 posts) -
I don't eat bacon either.
#36 Posted by TrainerCeleste (1633 posts) -
Not that hard :lol: Now not having a bacon coffin that is the worst :P
#37 Posted by Guybrush_3 (8308 posts) -

Poor guy. He gave up so much.

#38 Posted by dave123321 (34436 posts) -
What a chump
#39 Posted by TrainerCeleste (1633 posts) -

[QUOTE="SirWander"]

[QUOTE="sune_Gem"]

Why?

sune_Gem

he was jewish

I had no idea Jews prohibited that. Why would they? It's natural to eat meat from any kind of animal I thought.

Not pork :P If I remember right it had something to do with how cleanly things were back then or something. Or I may be way off :lol: I've heard the reason stems to the way life was wayyyyy back though :P
#40 Posted by GrayF0X786 (4092 posts) -

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

#41 Posted by dave123321 (34436 posts) -

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

GrayF0X786
Step off
#42 Posted by m0zart (11568 posts) -

[QUOTE="sune_Gem"]

[QUOTE="SirWander"]

he was jewish

TrainerCeleste

I had no idea Jews prohibited that. Why would they? It's natural to eat meat from any kind of animal I thought.

Not pork :P If I remember right it had something to do with how cleanly things were back then or something. Or I may be way off :lol: I've heard the reason stems to the way life was wayyyyy back though :P

Pork isn't the only thing. For land animals, if they do not have a split hoof and "chew cud", then they are not considered to be "food". Swine don't qualify. Neither do horses, camels, rabbits, rodents, etc.

For birds, there is a list in the Torah of what is permissible, and so the halacha boils down to deriving the common features of that permissible list. That includes not raising its legs above its wings, not being a predator of large animals or other birds, not being a scavenger of dead bodies, etc.

For sea creatures, any animal from the sea must have fins and real scales.

#43 Posted by TrainerCeleste (1633 posts) -

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

GrayF0X786

That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

#44 Posted by m0zart (11568 posts) -

[QUOTE="GrayF0X786"]

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

TrainerCeleste

That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

Most hispanics I know eat bacon, and chorizo, :P

#45 Posted by GrayF0X786 (4092 posts) -

[QUOTE="GrayF0X786"]

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

TrainerCeleste

That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

still, what people saying in this thread show how blind they are in their own ignorance, only to later on demoralize those who believe in a creator, sad hypocrisy of OT

#46 Posted by TrainerCeleste (1633 posts) -

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"][QUOTE="sune_Gem"]

I had no idea Jews prohibited that. Why would they? It's natural to eat meat from any kind of animal I thought.

m0zart

Not pork :P If I remember right it had something to do with how cleanly things were back then or something. Or I may be way off :lol: I've heard the reason stems to the way life was wayyyyy back though :P

Pork isn't the only thing. For land animals, if they do not have a split hoof and "chew cud", then they are not considered to be "food". Swine don't qualify. Neither do horses, camels, rabbits, rodents, etc.

For birds, there is a list in the Torah of what is permissible, and so the halacha boils down to deriving the common features of that permissible list. That includes not raising its legs above its wings, not being a predator of large animals or other birds, not being a scavenger of dead bodies, etc.

For sea creatures, any animal from the sea must have fins and real scales.

Theres a much better answer :D That's all really specific though :O Makes it easy for Jewish people to know what they can and can't eat though so that's good I guess :P Pork I guess is the most common though that may be why I've only ever heard of that one :lol:
#47 Posted by dave123321 (34436 posts) -

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]

[QUOTE="GrayF0X786"]

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

GrayF0X786

That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

still, what people saying in this thread show how blind they are in their own ignorance, only to later on demoralize those who believe in a creator, sad hypocrisy of OT

Lighten up
#48 Posted by GrayF0X786 (4092 posts) -

[QUOTE="GrayF0X786"]

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"] That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

dave123321

still, what people saying in this thread show how blind they are in their own ignorance, only to later on demoralize those who believe in a creator, sad hypocrisy of OT

Lighten up

ok.

#49 Posted by TrainerCeleste (1633 posts) -

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]

[QUOTE="GrayF0X786"]

its sad how much you guys strayed away from his message, and people making jokes in this thread, know that their will be a time in your life where the serious reality will hit you and you will see how minuscule this world is.

m0zart

That's pretty heavy for a thread about Jesus not having bacon

I mean it is a name after all, OP could be talking his or her Hispanic Friend :O

Most hispanics I know eat bacon, and chorizo, :P

:lol: now that I think about it you're right :lol: Most of their dishes include it too :P I remember learning in High school spanish classes about Jamón, they just leave a big leg of dried meat out on their counter for snacks :lol:

#50 Posted by dommeus (9433 posts) -

He missed out.

sonicare