Is it possible to survive without a female?

I've recently been heartbroken, bullied, and insulted by a girl which I had a crush on for more than 3 years. She never let me put a move on her, but she also never flat out rejected me just so she can see me drool more over her and suffer in agony slowly. I've also rejected countless girls who had a crush on me because of my feelings for her.

For some reason she's jealous of me and loves ridiculing me. So I stopped chasing after her and just saw her be more friends with other guys. In short term, she hates my guts.

Anyway point of the story is I'm really heart broken and I don't think ill ever like a female this way ever again. I still have feelings for her and I'll probably do for my entire lifetime. I don't want to ever have a crush on a girl again. I want to survive this world without having a female as a partner, can this be done?

First, you will like other girls. Second, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Forget her.

@Renevent42: can't, I still love her and I don't want others.

You're asking the wrong question.

The question is , is it possible to survive with a female?

@thegerg: I've put gazillion moves. Told her I like her, teased her and flirted way a lot and inappropriately too, did her 3 birthday parties and always stood up for her. The only thing i haven't done is tell her I love her. She ALWAYS loved the things i did for her but she NEVER did the same to me.

The first step you must do for yourself is just let it go. Yes being sooo desperately in love for 3 years is heard for a person to just leave but if she saw you as a friend and wants nothing to do with you, then it's not the end of the world, there are other females to see and also to get to get to know and being lonely isn't good for anyone. So brush it off, start something new, it's not the end of the world. I know you'll find a way to shake this off.

I really don't mean this as a mockery or a criticism but you sound like a teenager. If you are one, then I can understand why everything sounds so terrible and final but it'll get better. Why make the decision to be without someone? It's fine if you don't actively search but just be open to the possibility.

There are so many wonderful, kind, loving, single females in the world it's highly unlikely you will never find one that you like and likes you back; yes, you might be blind to it for a while until you get over this girl but it will happen...don't suffer now for what you think may happen in the future.

@thegerg: also, her friends told her clearly that Im sooo into her. She just dismiss it as exaggeration and call me mean because I tend to be an asshole in my daily life. I've decided to put her into "people i should be extra mean to" list but my feelings for her still kills me and makes me useless and pathetic.

She's just being tsundere.

@davillain-: I've tried countless times to let her out of my mind but she just doesn't. She saw me as a friend but also left those "signals" which drove me nuts.

how old are you?

@korvus: I'm not a teenager nor do I have crazy urges to find a girfriend or whatever. I suffer from major depressive disorder so my sexual drive is fried, I've had 3 girls confess they love me in the past year and I rejected each and every one of them for my love to this girl. I've tried so hard to let her go but she doesn't get out of my mind.

Sure.

You honestly sound like someone who probably shouldn't worry about getting girls right now, or anytime soon. Work on yourself, and they'll come to you. It's not complicated. Once you've had enough girlfriends, you might just want to take a break from relationships and just have a bunch of friends who are girls. Don't focus on any single person. That's crazy. Don't be crazy.

@TehFuneral: It's not your sex drive that decided whether you want a relationship with a girl or not though.

@commander: 21. I'm a medical student and I'm going to join the military soon. I'm hoping I'll forget about her once I'm working in missions, but I doubt it. I still love her and I can't help it.

aren't you in med school? You can probably find a decent therapist there somewhere who can show you how to cope with people you have feelings for but don't necessarily feel the same way about you.

@KHAndAnime: they do come to me and I reject them. I don't want random girls to like me or whatever, I don't know why but I like this girl soo much I can't ever stop loving her.

@Allicrombie: I did, she made it worse by telling me her actions are like that because she probably likes you back. A psychiatrist also only gave me antidepressants which were amazing tbh, but they can't cure love.

That's kind of a teenager still...

As Shakespeare said, "Tis better to have loved and lost: Than to have never loved at all." You might feel bad, now, but what might help is thinking to yourself that you had the capacity to love at all and that in and of itself is a worthwhile experience. People might not love you, but you can still love them without needing the satisfaction of immediate reciprocity. Speaking of that, studies have shown that an strong indicator of intelligence is delayed gratification. Set some goals for a new love interest after certain prerequisites are met, study smart, and you shall be living a fulfilling life.

@korvus: I love this girl and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't know why I love her. Her personality disgusts me and we never get along anymore after I stopped being so nice and a sucker for her. We can't sit in the same room and get along anymore. But I can still tell and you and I can shout it off a mountain top that I lover her and my mind won't let her go for a very long time. I can't imagine myself with her and I can't imagine myself without her. Sorry my head is such in a huge turmoil atm.

@TehFuneral: There's no need to apologise; you're not hurting anyone but yourself. I might be wrong but what you describe doesn't sound like love at all, but obsession; a stubbornness at the mind that says "I want this and I won't move on until I get it, even if I don't like it anymore". Love is nothing of what you just described, at least in my experience but sadly you probably won't be able to realise that until you let go of her and you're unwilling to let go of her because you don't yet know the difference. It's a complicated situation, no doubt but just hang in there and socialise with other people as much as possible; you'll eventually see that what you have with this girl is neither love nor healthy.

@BranKetra: thank you. This is the most helpful comment so far. I appreciate this a lot! Specially since I know I can't get her out of my head.. not for a very looooong time. The best thing I can do is suffer from it and wait for time to heal. It hurts so bad.

Why are you depressed?

It hurts to break up with someone, but sometimes it's for the best. often times, we like someone more than they like us. So you may have lucked out in the end. You may feel like you'll never meet someone like that again, but chances are, you will find someone better.

@commander: many reasons. Clinical depression doesn't require a reason to be diagnosed. I'm managing though through exercise, healthy eating, and social interaction. I'm doing great atm except this love thing.

@sonicare: I've tried so hard to let her out of my head but she doesn't come out of it. I've had girls tell me they'd "help me forget her" but i couldn't even like them a little. I accepted that I love her to bits and I can't do anything about it.

Teenage hormonal imbalance. I miss that! It can go well into the early 20's depending on the maturity. No way around it. :P

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People have survived solo on islands for years with no human, let alone female contact. Then there is men in prison, some of which find other ways, others of course wait it out. Monks and priests as well.

The OP reads like the girl didn't like you other than as a friend but you got attached anyways. Figure out if they like you first before getting attached. Doing that in the wrong order brings unnecessary depression and angst.

If she doesn't like you in that way; there is nothing you can do to force that. Move on and find that person for you.

Either way, there are bigger issues in life that worrying about surviving without a female. Hell, I know an friend who's uncle is well into his 40's and the dude never even kissed a girl or human. He's never had any type of encounter, he goes to Church, he's overweight, he loves computers. Dude accepted his fate and moved on.

clinical is very rare though.

The wound is still fresh so you can't see it now but eventually you'll get over her. Time heals almost everything and will do so in your case as well. Until then you'll be feeling like shit though.

But seriously, you've made threads about this girl in the past and how she's always playing these mind games with you, I don't know why you were still wasting your time with her.

@TehFuneral: Anytime. Enduring pain can make you more resilient to it whether it is emotional or physical. Goal setting (with specific deadlines!) can make a great difference in mood, according to an expert I know. She says that setting dates for your goals can influence perception, so they seem more attainable.

Listen I had this crush on this girl who is my friend since I was 14. I am 29 now and I have feelings of sadness toward her now. I kind of did what you did but the thing is I LOANED HER A BOAT LOAD OF MONEY. Now she hates me and I don't really care because she spent it all on drugs. I really hate drugs. She disgusts me but I still have fond memories of her.

Maybe she does something that bad that will break the love for her and free you of this cycle. She just might do something bad enough to make you hate her.

Find another girl who looks like her and acts like her, but is interested in you.

I know, sounds easy, but it's not. That's why when you find that one, you stick with it forever or until a better one shows up.

Act fast though, the window's closing and soon you'll be a balding fat guy w/ missing teeth.

Love doesn't exist without reciprocation.

Also, gay men do it all the time.

You will find someone else. If that's how she is, then obviously she isn't the right one for you. I mean, do you deserve to be ridiculed and made to feel like shit? I doubt it. She isn't worth your time or emotional stress. In time, your feelings will fade, as will the pain. Keep your head up. You'll find the right one on accident.

Why love someone who treats you like flaming dog shit? I know it's cliche, but there are other fish in the sea. She obviously doesn't care about you, so why let her continue to make you suffer? And with you having major depression, this whole thing could be really dangerous, man. Let her go. Don't let her use you and dictate how you feel. Clinging onto her will only make you feel worse. You're better than her. Be the bigger person and walk away. You don't need her to live.

That's what I said after I got dumped the first time. A few days later I was at it again. Then again, it dawned on me pretty early that I wasn't really in love with any girl. I just wanted to get laid.

I bet if you could finally date that girl it wouldn't feel so rewarding.

@johnd13: she's always messing around my head. She loves it that im crazy in love with her and she lets me flirt with her but she doesn't flirt back. She keeps giving me vibes that she's into me. She succeed in keeping me interested but never took it to the next level. She lured me in with her beauty, played me with her confident personality.

@jun_aka_pekto: i didn't want to get laid in the first place. I don't know what happened but i got so attached to this girl. I love her and i don't want any other girl in the world. It really hurts that I can't get along with her. I know i sound so pathetic but I can't help it. I'm so in love with her.

It seems as if you tried very hard to be harsh there. You should hire an English tutor if you don't understand the definition of such a simple word as harsh.

Yes it obviously does.

Yep, gerg often tries to come off as a asshat to users in problems on OT.

TC please take my advise:

1. At this very moment , Love doing what you love to do as past time ( Hanging out with freinds , playing your favourite video games or watching your favourite movies or sports )

2. Eat out often or eat good stuff you always love to eat. Good food helps a lot in making a person feel happy.

3. Join a Gym or Swimming if you haven't already. Any kind of exercise will let you forget the bad things , make you stress free completely.

4. Stay miles away from this girl, delete her contacts from mobile / PC asap. Don't keep in touch with her freinds also. Completely stop talking about this girl with freinds , family , OT.Don't plan on revenge also. Completely ignore this person.

5. Take a short vacation with freinds or family

6. Don't rebounce to other girls who care for you within six months. Keep in contact with them. After you get over your heartbreak completely then think about the other girls who are interested in you.

GIVE IT MAX 1 MONTHS AND THEN TELL ME IF YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THE HEARTBREAK MUCH.YOU WILL BECOME MUCH HAPPIER THAN NOW AND FORGET THOSE WHO DIDN'T VALUED YOUR LOVE.

You'll get over it.

I've seen true love before although not before I met my wife. You have to think why you love her so much and what exactly do you want with her. I've seen couples who truly loved each other and wanted to get hitched, picket fences, kids, the works. If that's what you have in mind, then I can see why you really want her. But, unless it's reciprocated by your crush, it's not gonna happen.

Not many women want a serious relationship especially if they're just starting out in life. You have to give them that. In the case of your crush, just try to be friends with her and quit the sentimental stuff. Just be buddies with her. If you're just friends, you may get to know her personality better. You'll be around her like you always wanted. Although you two may be in different wavelengths right now, that might change later on.

I am of course a totally different person from you. But, in my case, I had similar feelings for my crushes until I got laid. Since then, the love thing wasn't quite as nagging.