I like my best friend ex...

Well I think I have started feeling something for my best friend ex but well, she is my best friend ex and I am not sure if I should really try something with her even if I really like her. What do you think I should do?

Fu*k her as you will.

You should ask him out of respect for your friendship. I would hope his desire for you to be happy would outweigh his objections but there is only one way to find out. Just be respectful acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation, apologise for your uncontrollable desire and state your intentions to ask her out. Gauge his reaction and discuss.

Yaay a DateSpot thread!!

He has no claim over her, they're ex-couple. Unless the reason they broke up is particularly painful for him, and being with her would be tantamount to worsening his wound, then go for it. Just so long as he knows your intentions then I'm of the belief that he should have absolutely no reason to have a problem with it; they didn't work out in the end, so she's as free as the next girl. And if he is bothered by it then he can learn to get over it.

Word to the wise, never ever ask the internet dating advice, you'll think me later but before I go, just ask her out for a date to see were this is going.

This made me laugh more then it should have.

To quote one of my best songs(via Snoop Dogg) when I was a wee lad: It ain't no funnn if the homies can't.....

Also remember...most relationships don't last. So if this works out and this girl and you end up together it prolly won't last. So when it ends(and it prolly will) is the friendship you have with your pal still going to be there? If not walk away. Believe me, there are plenty fish in the sea.

It might be wise to swing it by your friend that you're considering asking her out, though regardless of his reaction it's entirely your choice to do so and letting him know is just a common decency.

Touch her shoulder

Up to you....probably will end the friendship though.

@henry360: amen.

Join the chain gang!

Did your friend sleep with her?

Not that its necessarily relevant either way however I personally would be a little bit put off having bedded the same girl.

Me and my best friend had both slept with the same girl and had a relationship with her. I found it incredibly awkward when he would ask questions about our relationship....because I knew they had also been in an intimate long term relationship. Sometimes a simple chat over a beer turned into relationship comparisons. Id be upset because Katherine had behaved in a certain way and he would say "yeah I used to hate that about her". Although he meant nothing by it, it made me feel like I had no ownership of the relationship and more like it was "my turn to experience her". Not necessarily a game changer but it might be worth considering me and him are still friends and me and her broke up and never spoke again.

+1. Chances are this is how you will end up TC. 99.99999999% of relationships end in breakup. You have to ask yourself if your experience with this girl will be worth altering a relationship with your best friend.

What if he feels the same way ? Why go after something that is already taken ? Or maybe he don't care, so ask him if you can ask her out. He might be cool with it. If he's not cool, then move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

Ask your friend if he's ok with it. I wouldn't want be your friend anymore if you decided to date a girl that I broke up with and decided to bring her into my life again in a way I didn't want to.

Really good friends are a lot harder to come by than girlfriends, one night stands and wives. Pretty obvious by the way you yourself are thinking, you are being a pretty pissy friend here truth to be told.

She's my best friends girl...

she used to be MINE.

@thegerg: The ex girlfriend of my best friend

@always_explicit: They did not even got to that point, they did not even give a kiss to each other

I will explain a little more the story, well they did not get to be boyfriend and girlf friend, they were close to get there but they failed to, THREE TIMES, the last time they try my friend gave up so he avoid talking to her even when she speak directly to him asking anything because he knows he will like her again, he is tring hard to stop liking her, so he does not want anything with her anymore he even call her a b*tch in her back, I have started to feeling something for her but I still dont want to lose my best friend with a girl that as some people have say the relationship could be really short, also she is my first love I have never had a girlfriend before or even my first kiss and she is the first girl (that I like) to be interested in me

@LexLas: He gave up he dont even want to talkt to her anymore of 3 times of friendzone

Your friend a monk or something?

Even if you know this you still even have to ask US if it's a good idea? ...Yeah, go for it. Sounds like a wonderful idea if you want to keep your friendship.

@Ant_17: He got friendzoned 3 times so nothing really happen between them

If it's with her, then she isn't an ex to your friend, so it's open season.

@Ant_17: But still I think she hurt my friend

@guywithquestion: Just tell your friend that you like her and ask him if he has feelings for her. He will ether say yes or no. Then tell him your thinking of asking her to hang out.

Just saw the other info.

He got friend zoned, hasn't kissed her, she tries to talk to him, yet HE calls her a b*itch behind her back?

And you think she is hurting him?

@Ant_17: She dont talk to him since he does not answer back a while ago when he still liked her but she friendzone him again told me that he will stop talking to her so he could stop liking her

I was like a third wheel when they liked each other

No, don't ASK, because it's none of his business and he has no say in the matter. I would TELL him before he finds out, so that it's not a total shock to him and hopefully it'll be less awkward if he hears it from a friend rather than a total stranger. But seriously, don't ASK. He doesn't ****ing get to give or deny permission. She doesn't belong to him, and the two of them aren't even together any more so it's not even as if you're intruding into their relationship.

Do what you want.

But just ask yourself: who is more important to you?

Hah I felt like that with my roomies last girlfriend. Thank god they broke up; long time coming, that.

Dude, it's called a compromise....covering all your bases...a courtesy.

Also, it's called be a good, polite human being.

There is nothing wrong with politely, gently saying "Hey, man, you're my best friend. But I kind of want to date your ex." If he is a good person, he won't take issue. Hopefully it has been a while since they broke up; if you're asking her out like a week after they split, that's a bit messed up on your part.

If he is over her, it has been an appropriate amount of time passed, and he has a problem with you dating her, then it is time to call him on his bullshit and be like "Dude, I'm asking her out. I only asked you as a courtesy."

*don't apologize for it, though. Be assertive but courteous

One could argue that any "friend" who'd expect you to to avoid pursuing a romance just in order to avoid having his feelings hurt because he got dumped, isn't a very good friend at all.

I don't ****ing like my "friends" telling me who I can have as friends, and I don't ****ing like my "friends" telling me who I can have as girlfriends. I'm obviously gonna extend some basic courtesy and try to minimize my friend's discomfort as much as is reasonably possible. But if his discomfort is based on the fact that I'm with his ex AT ALL, and if that discomfort is a friendship-breaker, then my friend can go **** himself.

Hardcore my ass. Everyone in this topic is talking about how girlfriends are a dime a dozen, and disappear all the time. But do you know what else is like that? "FRIENDS".

Do you have any idea how often "friends" drift apart? The person who is your "friend" today might totally tell you to **** off tomorrow just because you're affectionate with the wrong woman. And you call THAT a friend? If I'm with a woman, it's because I'm HOPING it'll eventually lead somewhere. Sure, it probably won't, but there's a chance that it'll eventually lead to a wife and kids, and an actual FAMILY. For my "friend" to expect me to avoid pursuing such a relationship with someone that he isn't even with, just because it'll hurt his feelings really tells me that he ain't my friend. If that is what it takes for him to end our friendship, then you're goddamn right...**** HIM.

He ended that shit, not me. If he's that ****ing petty, to end a friendship over something that's allegedly so trivial, then he was never a real ****ing friend in the first place.

@MrGeezer: He has no idea I like her actually no one does, I will ask him if there is a problem with me dating her if he tell me there is I will try to solve it

@MrGeezer: That "friend" is one of the 2 I have so I really dont want to lose him the other one is moving to another city so I will just stay alone

I'm less talking about your specific situation, and more about comments like this...

"Also remember...most relationships don't last. So if this works out and this girl and you end up together it prolly won't last. So when it ends(and it prolly will) is the friendship you have with your pal still going to be there? If not walk away. Believe me, there are plenty fish in the sea."

That basically seems to be a more eloquent version of "bros before hoes". And we see that repeated. The basic sentiment seems to be that girls (or guys, if you're romantically inclined that way) are just temporary trash, and that your non-romantic buds are worth more.

And there's the point at which we really have to stop for a second and think about this. This woman clearly WASN'T just a "ho" to your "friend", otherwise he wouldn't be willing to throw away a "true" friendship just because she's now with you. For your "friend" to throw away your friendship over a "ho" doesn't make a single bit of sense and sure as SHIT doesn't fit within the narrative that he's actually a good friend. She was sure as hell MORE than just a piece of tail to him, that's precisely why he's so upset that she's with you instead of him. So, if the woman has THAT kind of effect on the dude, then how the **** is it a dirtbag move for another guy to go after her? I mean, CLEARLY she's not just another "ho". We've just established that with the fact that the dumpee is ready to dump his friend just because he's now with the dumper. "Bros before hoes" ends up as total bullshit. Either she's not a "ho" at all, or that dude clearly wasn't actually your "bro".

yeah, I can agree with that last part.

moral of the story: never have best friends ^^

@omotih: never have friends*

TC, after you elaborated a bit and said that your best friend and this [must be] VERY special girl were never truly romantically linked than I would go for it. If it works out I would tell your friend before someone else does.

when i Imagine my Best friends starts a relationship with my Ex ... well , my friendship with my best friend is fucking over . I wouldn't believe he would actually go and date that **** piece of shit . that would be like a huge betrayal on me . Imagine that i wanted a long real relationship with her and she told me she didn't want that . my feelings are hurt and I'm a bit angry , and then my best friend who i already told about my feelings and stuff comes across and says : I'm dating your ex .
I will be like :