How to deal with a narcissist in the family?

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crazyguy111

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#1  Edited By crazyguy111
Member since 2013 • 406 Posts

Hey my brother has a superiority complex which makes it nearly impossible to have long a conversation with him at times. When ever we talk, he usually begins to imply that i'm stupid and my grades are bad, or some times he tries to imply that he's taller than me (i'm about 5'10 and he's about 5'11".)

I find it nearly impossible to talk with him anymore because he just goes off topic and tries to insult me with out directly doing it. For example if we are talking a bit, he usually tries to argue, sometimes he randomly talks about he's "bigger" than me for no reason, sometimes he randomly talks about how my major is stupid (I major in finance in university) and how the college I go to sucks, or the high school I went to sucks. He insults my mom as well, since she is only college educated. I never heard him have a conversation with my mom since last year. He just insults/argues with her throughout the day. Though he is friendly with my dad and my sister since they both are very intelligent.

Also I know that all siblings fight, but he insults/argues with me to the point where I can't even talk with him anymore.

How to deal with this? Should I just give up trying to talk with him? Thoughts? He is 17 btw, and I am 19.

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deactivated-598fc45371265

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#2 deactivated-598fc45371265
Member since 2008 • 13247 Posts
@crazyguy111 said:

Should I just give up trying to talk with him?

Yes.

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dommeus

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#3 dommeus
Member since 2004 • 9433 Posts

@crazyguy111 said:

How to deal with this? Should I just give up trying to talk with him? Thoughts? He is 17 btw, and I am 19.

Wait til he grows up and stops being a dick (Y)

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deactivated-598fc45371265

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#4 deactivated-598fc45371265
Member since 2008 • 13247 Posts

Next time he says something bellow "People like you are the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore!" at him

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uninspiredcup

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#5 uninspiredcup
Member since 2013 • 58646 Posts

Sounds like he's using you as a punching bag because he himself feels like a piece of shit.

Either try help him or avoid him would seem like a good idea. You know what they say about misery.

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johnd13

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#6 johnd13
Member since 2011 • 11124 Posts

I can somewhat relate to your case. My brother has always been pretty antagonistic towards me since we were kids, even now that he's considered quite a successful guy(smart, opinion about everything, decent job, great shape, social, knows how to properly dress up etc) and that's good for him, I'm glad he is and don't really envy him. But he constantly tries to remind me that I'm a loser, should try to be like him, that my social skills are not good enough and so I'll end up jobless. I couldn't care less about his insults but his attitude has always been in the middle and as a result we're not close at all. We exchange the occasional phone call and see each other whenever he visits us but we don't really spend that much time together. On top of that, whevever we happen to live under the same roof for a few days, he goes out of his way to perpetually pester me. I really have my own issues and don't have the time or mood for his attitude.

So my advice is this: just ignore him, as long as you're fine with yourself you shouldn't give a shit about his opinion. Keep a respectful attitude towards him though, don't drop to his level. One day he might finally grow up and then you'll have the chance to get closer.

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Catalli

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#7 Catalli  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 3453 Posts

He thinks finance is stupid? 10 years from now when you gather for christmas with your family, buy everyone a luxurious car, and leave him out.

Truth is most teenagers go through the stage where they think they're infinitely superior to everyone else, perhaps he's going through that stage kinda late. If you don't see an improvement in his attitude then he's a douche and there's nothing you can do about it.

OR if he disrespects your mother again you could sucker punch him and tell him never to speak to you mother that way again. perhaps that'll learn him a thing or two. But don't listen to me, I've never really had this issue; my older sister is pretty much a role model for me.

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amillionhp

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#8 amillionhp
Member since 2008 • 773 Posts

17 years old?? Serious? Kid is in no position to judge anything or anyone. I suppose it doesnt matter much to you being only two years older but still...

I believe someone said it earlier but yes, teens will generally come to a point where they act like this. The extent of it will vary from person to person. Your brother sounds like a legitimate douche rather than it being "just a phase".

You seem pretty sensitive about your height, didnt you already make a thread about that?

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MrGeezer

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#9 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

@crazyguy111 said:

Hey my brother has a superiority complex which makes it nearly impossible to have long a conversation with him at times. When ever we talk, he usually begins to imply that i'm stupid and my grades are bad, or some times he tries to imply that he's taller than me (i'm about 5'10 and he's about 5'11".)

I find it nearly impossible to talk with him anymore because he just goes off topic and tries to insult me with out directly doing it. For example if we are talking a bit, he usually tries to argue, sometimes he randomly talks about he's "bigger" than me for no reason, sometimes he randomly talks about how my major is stupid (I major in finance in university) and how the college I go to sucks, or the high school I went to sucks. He insults my mom as well, since she is only college educated. I never heard him have a conversation with my mom since last year. He just insults/argues with her throughout the day. Though he is friendly with my dad and my sister since they both are very intelligent.

Also I know that all siblings fight, but he insults/argues with me to the point where I can't even talk with him anymore.

How to deal with this? Should I just give up trying to talk with him? Thoughts? He is 17 btw, and I am 19.

Then stop talking to him.

That's not to say that you shouldn't say hi, or should avoid going to Family Christmas Dinner because he'll be there. But family members often grow apart. That's natural. If you think that he's an asshole who you don't want to be around, then minimize your exposure to him. It often really is that easy.

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SultaN-s

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#10 SultaN-s
Member since 2011 • 85 Posts

I hear you, man. I have similar situation. I'm 25 and my brother is 20. He just can't comprehend the idea that his interests aren't our priorities. I love him and all but sometimes (most of the time tbh) he makes me want to throw him in a cage and whip the arrogance out of him.

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GazaAli

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#11 GazaAli
Member since 2007 • 25216 Posts

Some ignoring and cold shouldering go a long way with narcissists and self-centered fucks. So start administering these in progressive doses to your brother maybe he'll behave himself better. But it was curious to learn that he doesn't exhibit the same behavior with everyone.