Going to A Bar Alone: Lame or Ballsy

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Gama_Forever

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#1 Gama_Forever
Member since 2004 • 2645 Posts

Can a man swing it? I mean, obviously in movies I've seen it done but I don't how things work in reality. Off the top of my head it seems like it's impossible. Generally you need a safety crew for a while. Then you get bored and move on to talking to new people and hope for the best. Just be straight with a dude and let me know. Is it possible to go to a bar alone without looking weak?

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thehig1

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#2 thehig1
Member since 2014 • 7537 Posts

A bit of both, I think in the UK its seen more as lame and strange.

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ferrari2001

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#3 ferrari2001
Member since 2008 • 17772 Posts

When one of my flights got delayed I decided I had nothing better to do so I went to a bar by myself. I actually had a fantastic time talking sports and drinking with other people in the bar.

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MrGeezer

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#4 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

Well, I personally wouldn't spend a night out at the bar alone. Seems kind of boring. And also, if I want to drink alone I'm better off just drinking at home. But if I'm ever out and I need to kill a little bit of time, I might go to the bar and have one or two drinks.

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MrPraline

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#5  Edited By MrPraline
Member since 2008 • 21351 Posts

Bar seat alone is fine, you could chop it up with the bartender and other people there.

If it's just about the drinking you might as well do that at home.

If you only want to pick up chicks you'll blend in easier going to a club alone.

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deactivated-5e9044657a310

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#6 deactivated-5e9044657a310
Member since 2005 • 8136 Posts

Depends on the type of bar.

If it's a mom and pop bar then no big deal to sit on a stool and have a drink or two.

I

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PSP107

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#7 PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18782 Posts

It's no lame or ballsy. What's the harm in just randomly going into a bar for a drink and catching a game?

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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#8 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

Going to a bar alone is completely fine. It's leaving alone that is lame.

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PSP107

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#9 PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18782 Posts

@Aljosa23 said:

Going to a bar alone is completely fine. It's leaving alone that is lame.

So your intensions of going to a bar is bringing home a guy/girl?

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MuD3

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#10 MuD3
Member since 2011 • 2192 Posts

bars are stupid regardless of company.

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GreySeal9

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#11 GreySeal9
Member since 2010 • 28247 Posts

@MuD3 said:

bars are stupid regardless of company.

Why are bars stupid?

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GreySeal9

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#12 GreySeal9
Member since 2010 • 28247 Posts

To answer the TC's question, although I've never gone to a bar myself, I don't see the problem with doing so. I think the idea that doing things alone is a negative is weird.

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ProtossX

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#13  Edited By ProtossX
Member since 2005 • 2880 Posts

ballsy

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lamprey263

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#14  Edited By lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 44503 Posts

Done it plenty, you meet good people... sometimes.

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Serraph105

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#15 Serraph105
Member since 2007 • 36038 Posts

It really depends on how comfortable you are talking with strangers. I'm not particularly good with this sort of thing, I can initiate conversation, but I'm not very good at keeping it going and frankly have very little interest in doing so.

So yeah, bars with friends can be fun, but flying solo isn't really my thing.

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thereal25

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#16 thereal25
Member since 2011 • 2074 Posts

Each to their own but it DEFINATELY wouldn't be my thing. That said, I'm not a big fan of bars in general though.

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xdude85

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#17 xdude85
Member since 2006 • 6559 Posts

Bars are a waste of time, save your money for something better.

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JangoWuzHere

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#19 JangoWuzHere
Member since 2007 • 19032 Posts

It's neither lame or ballsy.

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Gaming-Planet

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#21 Gaming-Planet
Member since 2008 • 21064 Posts

It's ballsy if you start a bar fight.

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sukraj

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#22 sukraj
Member since 2008 • 27859 Posts

@MuD3 said:

bars are stupid regardless of company.

This

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themajormayor

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#23 themajormayor
Member since 2011 • 25729 Posts

Lame!

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solidruss

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#24 solidruss
Member since 2002 • 24082 Posts

Neither, the only lameness involved is that which you bring. It's a bar. If you're just going out to drink you're better off staying home. It's cheaper. If you're going to a bar to strike up conversation thats different;.

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Blutfahne

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#25 Blutfahne
Member since 2014 • 276 Posts
@PSP107 said:

@Aljosa23 said:

Going to a bar alone is completely fine. It's leaving alone that is lame.

So your intensions of going to a bar is bringing home a guy/girl?

That is what everybody's intentions are when they go to a bar. Guy or girl don't matter, everyone is horny and seeks attention. This is what a bar is for. Humans been drinking alcohol and meeting since the dawn of time.

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Serraph105

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#26 Serraph105
Member since 2007 • 36038 Posts

@thegerg: That's a bit different than what I was discussing. If you are primarily going for dinner than going alone has no stigma, but if you are going to have a good time then you need a certain amount of social skills to pull it off.

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PSP107

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#27 PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18782 Posts

@blutfahne said:
@PSP107 said:

@Aljosa23 said:

Going to a bar alone is completely fine. It's leaving alone that is lame.

So your intensions of going to a bar is bringing home a guy/girl?

That is what everybody's intentions are when they go to a bar. Guy or girl don't matter, everyone is horny and seeks attention. This is what a bar is for. Humans been drinking alcohol and meeting since the dawn of time.

What I meant is that dropping into bar for a simple drink or 2, catch a ball game. One of those random moments.

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EJ902

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#28 EJ902
Member since 2005 • 14338 Posts

Nothing remarkable about it. There are already plenty of people in there alone who just want to have a drink and watch whatever sport is on TV; if you're there to make friends then it's just a simple matter of going up to one of these people and asking them if they saw last night's ludicrous display. Though the idea of going to a bar/club alone just to score sounds like desperation to me, at least if you're with friends you can at least pretend you're there to enjoy yourself as your primary aim.

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PSP107

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#29 PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18782 Posts

@EJ902 said:

Nothing remarkable about it. There are already plenty of people in there alone who just want to have a drink and watch whatever sport is on TV; if you're there to make friends then it's just a simple matter of going up to one of these people and asking them if they saw last night's ludicrous display. Though the idea of going to a bar/club alone just to score sounds like desperation to me, at least if you're with friends you can at least pretend you're there to enjoy yourself as your primary aim.

By a previous comments in here, they make it seems like it just easy to take home a chick/guy.

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AFBrat77

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#30  Edited By AFBrat77
Member since 2004 • 26848 Posts

Its a good thing..... just go there with no expectations other than to enjoy your own company and by the end of the night you will be talking with people and may very well have a girl since they often fall into your lap when they see you are content, secure with your own company, and not looking to hook up with anyone. That does work, but again...have no expectations.

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edwise18

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#32 edwise18
Member since 2008 • 1533 Posts

If you're sole aim is to pick up chicks. Then I would say it's ballsy.

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AFBrat77

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#33 AFBrat77
Member since 2004 • 26848 Posts

@Gama_Forever said:

Can a man swing it? I mean, obviously in movies I've seen it done but I don't how things work in reality. Off the top of my head it seems like it's impossible. Generally you need a safety crew for a while. Then you get bored and move on to talking to new people and hope for the best. Just be straight with a dude and let me know. Is it possible to go to a bar alone without looking weak?

Are you kidding me? Going to a bar alone is a sign of strength and independence, a sign that a man doesn't need someone else to go to a bar, and he is strong within himself.

Granted, for a lot of people going with friends is more fun, but some people have to have someone else because they are nervous to be alone in a bar.....now THATS weak.

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AFBrat77

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#34 AFBrat77
Member since 2004 • 26848 Posts

@thehig1 said:

A bit of both, I think in the UK its seen more as lame and strange.

I used to pick up alot of women in the UK going by myself. My Air Force buddies could not always get the same days off that I could. Didn't stop me :).

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edwise18

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#35 edwise18
Member since 2008 • 1533 Posts

@AFBrat77 So true. And that's awesome. Alpha status.

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always_explicit

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#36 always_explicit
Member since 2007 • 3379 Posts

I live in England and I have done it quite a few times, Its not something many people do but I honestly have had nothing but pleasant experiences.

Im a night shift worker. One night I finished work at 6am....slept from 7am until about 4pm....now I knew full well I wouldn't be able to sleep until 2/3am. I was sitting at home alone, thinking how nice it would be just to go out and do something because its not the greatest feeling being wide awake and alone when everyone else is asleep. So I did. I went and sat in a pub and watched football. I had a few beers and talked to some people and had a great time, so much so I left the pub at 9pm and went to a bar that just opened. I said hello to the manager and said the words, "im not with anyone...its not gonna be a heavy night I just wanted to check the place out".

After an hour and a half a girl came up to me and asked me what I was doing in a bar alone. I simply told her the truth. I said "Im a nightshift worker, this is a town I have not lived in for very long, I dont know anybody...either I sit in my house alone waiting to fall asleep, or I sit here watch the band... I like david Bowie". She didnt give me a funny look, she didnt ridicule me, she didnt run in the opposite direction. She smiled said "thats cool...I love Bowie too". Then when the bar closed she went home with me.

Sure you could meet some horrible people and have a horrible time but I strongly believe if you are upfront, honest, friendly and genuinely seeking a fun time with people then you will have positive experiences, regardless of whether you are in company or entirely alone.

Also alcohol helps.

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Acillatem1993

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#37 Acillatem1993
Member since 2011 • 1100 Posts

If you look weak or not depends on you, doesnt matter if alone of with friends.

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chaoscougar1

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#38 chaoscougar1
Member since 2005 • 37603 Posts

Neither
I love chilling by myself with a beverage, bit of people watching, maybe some sports, cheeky bit of gambling

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indzman

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#39  Edited By indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

Those who go into pubs or disco alone tend to get the slutty women looking for tonights company quickly.

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thehig1

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#40 thehig1
Member since 2014 • 7537 Posts

@AFBrat77 said:

@thehig1 said:

A bit of both, I think in the UK its seen more as lame and strange.

I used to pick up alot of women in the UK going by myself. My Air Force buddies could not always get the same days off that I could. Didn't stop me :).

Respect, I see it as ballsy myself

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mjorh

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#41 mjorh
Member since 2011 • 6749 Posts

Well i don't know , have never been in a bar , because have never seen a bar in reality , because there is no bar here, is "bar" a big deal?

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johnd13

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#42 johnd13
Member since 2011 • 11124 Posts

I don't go to bars.

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LJS9502_basic

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#44 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178808 Posts

TBH I more or less think a drinking problem is involved in trips to bars without companions. Lame.

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EJ902

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#45 EJ902
Member since 2005 • 14338 Posts

@thegerg said:

@EJ902: How, exactly, does it sound like desperation?

Why do you want me to explain that? That's just what my opinion is, it's just how I react to the idea. I don't really have an explanation for it. Though that feeling was probably formed based upon people I know who would do it. I admire the confidence it takes to do it but, at least with the individuals I know, I can't imagine them going to a club with the sole aim of finding a girl unless as a last resort.

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bforrester420

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#46  Edited By bforrester420
Member since 2014 • 3480 Posts

Lame, but it depends on the bar. If you're a regular, you know other regulars that will likely be there, and you just sit at the bar and have a couple of drinks, no big deal. If it's a club-like bar, lame. I'd be bored at a "club" rolling solo. Well, I would have been when I was still appropriately aged to go to clubs.

I do this at my local BW3 from time to time. I'll stop in after work, sit at the bar, have a small order of Blazin', a couple of beers, then head home.

@thegerg said:

I've done it plenty of times. Sometimes you just want a drink and a quick bite to eat. I don't see why it's so strange.

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MrGeezer

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#48 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

@LJS9502_basic said:

TBH I more or less think a drinking problem is involved in trips to bars without companions. Lame.

Is that any more indicative of a drinking problem than drinking at home?

I mean, you can go to a bar and have a couple of drinks, but I think the drinks say more about any problem than the bar does. If someone wants a beer, they want a beer. You can drink it in the bar or you can drink it on your sofa while watching TV, but you're drinking either way so I'm not really sure what the bar has to do with anything.

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PSP107

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#49  Edited By PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18782 Posts

@always_explicit said:

I live in England and I have done it quite a few times, Its not something many people do but I honestly have had nothing but pleasant experiences.

Im a night shift worker. One night I finished work at 6am....slept from 7am until about 4pm....now I knew full well I wouldn't be able to sleep until 2/3am. I was sitting at home alone, thinking how nice it would be just to go out and do something because its not the greatest feeling being wide awake and alone when everyone else is asleep. So I did. I went and sat in a pub and watched football. I had a few beers and talked to some people and had a great time, so much so I left the pub at 9pm and went to a bar that just opened. I said hello to the manager and said the words, "im not with anyone...its not gonna be a heavy night I just wanted to check the place out".

After an hour and a half a girl came up to me and asked me what I was doing in a bar alone. I simply told her the truth. I said "Im a nightshift worker, this is a town I have not lived in for very long, I dont know anybody...either I sit in my house alone waiting to fall asleep, or I sit here watch the band... I like david Bowie". She didnt give me a funny look, she didnt ridicule me, she didnt run in the opposite direction. She smiled said "thats cool...I love Bowie too". Then when the bar closed she went home with me.

Sure you could meet some horrible people and have a horrible time but I strongly believe if you are upfront, honest, friendly and genuinely seeking a fun time with people then you will have positive experiences, regardless of whether you are in company or entirely alone.

Also alcohol helps.

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Nengo_Flow

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#50  Edited By Nengo_Flow
Member since 2011 • 10644 Posts

Only time it looks cool when alone is if you pulled up in a Harley and are wearing a leather jacket and are there to pick up a chick (specifically the hot bartender that everyone wants to ****)