Funny Things Your Teachers Say/Do

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#1 Posted by pugsy44 (1682 posts) -

Post funny things that your Teachers do,:D

#2 Posted by monkeysrfat (1789 posts) -
My maths teacher throws stuff at us cos we always talk and he gets annoyed, My French teacher didn't let someone go to the toilet and let everyone else go even if they didn't need to go just to annoy that person, My friends geography teacher chased this guy around the school with a giant stick etc
#3 Posted by jointed (16719 posts) -
"That wasn't a question.........I was merely asking."
#4 Posted by Luminouslight (6397 posts) -
My Ap Gov teacher was telling us about one time that he was visiting Portugal. He rented out this guys apartment for about $12 a night. They had a really tight budget so they decided they would "make" their own food, which would be spagetti. he noticed a huge glass piece to put on the gas stove and he though "what a great idea" Then he starts to cook it, but then the water doesn't start to boil, so he pushes the heat up and up until it's all the way full. Then gets the idea "what if I remove this glass shard" and as he lifts it up only an inch, A huge explosion occurs and the glass piece goes up flying several feet in the air. At that point, considering the explosion was that of like a hand grenade going off in ones face, he first thought that the fuel lines exploded and he died. After he came to the realization of what really happened, they really didn't save much money at all...
#5 Posted by B05T0N (7051 posts) -
My chem teacher in high school talked about how he wanted to have sex with Jessica Alba and he would openly talk about his drug use. he was the man.
#7 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -

won ov my teecher died wonsezbagqrmh

Was it your grammar teacher?

#9 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -
[QUOTE="VanHelsingBoA64"]

[QUOTE="zbagqrmh"]won ov my teecher died wonsezbagqrmh

Was it your grammar teacher?

yes, hao did u no?

From your overly poor grammar.

#10 Posted by zbagqrmh (11 posts) -
[QUOTE="zbagqrmh"][QUOTE="VanHelsingBoA64"]

[QUOTE="zbagqrmh"]won ov my teecher died wonseVanHelsingBoA64

Was it your grammar teacher?

yes, hao did u no?

From your overly poor grammar.

I speak 50 differen't languijes...i thenk its good enoug to understad

#11 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -
[QUOTE="VanHelsingBoA64"][QUOTE="zbagqrmh"][QUOTE="VanHelsingBoA64"]

[QUOTE="zbagqrmh"]won ov my teecher died wonsezbagqrmh

Was it your grammar teacher?

yes, hao did u no?

From your overly poor grammar.

I speak 50 differen't languijes...i thenk its good enoug to understad

But, you can't type any of them.

#13 Posted by J-link (4805 posts) -
My Ex-PE teacher.. Basicly, she came to school drunk.
#14 Posted by freek666 (22312 posts) -
My professional writing teacher always says "listen to the voice above" whenever an announcement comes on, and it gets rather annoying. my science/homeroom teacher usually starts a lesson with "sit down, shut up" but he's cool. and once we had a sub for about 2 weeks in year 4 and she always said "no clowns in the classroom" (she was indian, so u can imagine how funny it sounded) and she would hit people on the head with a rolled up piece or pieces of paper whom she considered to be clowns. me and my friend were hit rather often, and my friend got sent out numerous times, then hit on the head. also my english/sose teacher would come in and say "hello mushrooms" becuase we never had the lights on in our class and it was always dark.
#16 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -

My French teacher is just pretty cool. She loves to joke around and such. Once my bud had this picture of his homecoming date (who was from a different school so we didn't know her) and we all wanted to see it, but he wouldn't let us for whatever reason, so the teacher comes over and asks if he has anything I'd like to see, I say yes and she jumps onto him (she's 65 btw) and tackles him, almost knocking over the desk and in the end doesn't actually get it

That same guy (with the picture) will often intentionally try to mispronounce things and she'll scold him in her joking tone. More of a have to be there thing. She also keeps a bunch of old computer stuff lying around, so during the "les telecommunications" chapter, picture man grabbed a keyboard and started hitting me with it saying "Coup de claiver!" over and over, but pronouncing it like in English. She came over and slapped him in her Madame Boghosian way for hitting her good student and for slaughtering her language.

Good times in that class

#17 Posted by stevendiep_100 (2193 posts) -

"how long should the essay be?"

"Just like a woman's skirt. Long enough to keep it covered, but still be short so that it's interesting."

#18 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -

And there's an idiot in that class who probably doesn't even know what language it is. Some of his stuff that I've seen was:

three things a doctor would say (on the "chez le medicin" chapter:

- Quand a la mal de tete (when to the pain of head)

- Qui ou vous mal as (who where you pain have, wrong conjugation)

- Ou de la gorge mal (where of the throat pain)

and in a write an "e-mail" to a classmate thing:

Je deservir tu une fete de Halloween. (I to serve you a party of Halloween) or something like that

Sorry for my lack of accents, QWERTY doesn't have any...

#19 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -

"how long should the essay be?"

"Just like a woman's skirt. Long enough so that it covers it, but still be short so that it's interesting."

stevendiep_100

DO YOU HAVE MRS COLMAN AT ALICE C STELLE MIDDLE SCHOOL IN CALABASAS CALIFORNIA 91302????

BECAUSE I SURE DID. AND SHE SAID THAT. AND ALWAYS TOLD US " I don't see jam and scones, why are we having tea parties?" WHEN WE TALKED.

#20 Posted by Magical_Donuts (591 posts) -
In my english class... My teacher just screamed out.... these papers are my b!tch papers! I was like W....T....F
#21 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -
Oh, and someone actually brought jam and scones once. We got the rest of the day off.
#22 Posted by carlosA_24 (306 posts) -
my science teacher mubles about every 5 phrases, my english teacher says "ladies and gentlemen" every time someone says a word, my video production teacher cracks jokes that no one thinks is funny, my history teacher goes around to every desk and says "sssshhhhhhhhhh" very slowly, my algebra teacher has a huge butt, my pe teacher scratches his balls and he's 57.
#23 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -
[QUOTE="stevendiep_100"]

"how long should the essay be?"

"Just like a woman's skirt. Long enough so that it covers it, but still be short so that it's interesting."

AlternatingCaps

DO YOU HAVE MRS COLMAN AT ALICE C STELLE MIDDLE SCHOOL IN CALABASAS CALIFORNIA 91302????

BECAUSE I SURE DID. AND SHE SAID THAT. AND ALWAYS TOLD US " I don't see jam and scones, why are we having tea parties?" WHEN WE TALKED.

Calm down, dude. Just calm down. SECURITY!

#24 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -

my science teacher mubles about every 5 phrases, my english teacher says "ladies and gentlemen" every time someone says a word, my video production teacher cracks jokes that no one thinks is funny, my history teacher goes around to every desk and says "sssshhhhhhhhhh" very slowly, my algebra teacher has a huge butt, my pe teacher scratches his balls and he's 57.carlosA_24

Pics or it didn't happen.

#25 Posted by carlosA_24 (306 posts) -

[QUOTE="carlosA_24"]my science teacher mubles about every 5 phrases, my english teacher says "ladies and gentlemen" every time someone says a word, my video production teacher cracks jokes that no one thinks is funny, my history teacher goes around to every desk and says "sssshhhhhhhhhh" very slowly, my algebra teacher has a huge butt, my pe teacher scratches his balls and he's 57.VanHelsingBoA64

Pics or it didn't happen.

dang i'll try to get some on tuesday, but its true 100%

#26 Posted by cametall (7692 posts) -
My stats teacher won't look at the class. He stares at the ceiling or the wall next to him when lecturing. One of my business teachers will go on rants about how racist employers can be. She rattled off almost every racist word besides ones relating to blacks (I learned a few new ones too).
#27 Posted by DisturbedChild7 (3753 posts) -
My bio teacher once said, "correct, fatty asses!"
#28 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -
Oh my choir teacher will always go "yay tenors!" in this really sarcastic and girlyish voice whenever we're going too high. It's another sorta have to be there thing. That happened at the end of class once, so you could say we ended on a high note!
#29 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -

My "old" math teacher (got switched out because classes were too full) would also always make terrible jokes, usually irrelevent "Well, this book has the wrong answer, something we can't blame Bill Gates for, unlike Windows Vista," or "Well, my mother was Polish and my Father was German, so every August 31st I feel very conflicted"

and my new teacher just sorta yells at us and threatens to send people to the principal and kick us out. We're apparently her worst class. She also throws white board erasers on the grond to clean them off instead of clapping them together or something. She doesn't like the janitor or something. That class is also my sleepy time.

#30 Posted by carlosA_24 (306 posts) -
oh i remember in the old days of 3rd grade my teacher (man) would throw white board erasers at kids who weren't paying attention
#31 Posted by carlosA_24 (306 posts) -
AND my pe teacher uses cuss words sumtimes like one time in the locker room sum dumb guy was bangin on the lockers and my pe teacher yelled, "STOP BANGIN THE DAMN LOCKERS U F***ING A**HOLES!!"
#32 Posted by Brainkiller05 (28954 posts) -
My English teacher was getting mad because nobody had a pen and she said "This isn't a pen shop!... if you want pens in future then bring in some money"
#33 Posted by AlternatingCaps (1714 posts) -

OOOH OOH! I've posted in here too much but...

My old PE co-teacher had a hand fetish. It was really weird, he used to always stare at peoples' hands and examine them closely. It was really weird.

#34 Posted by bulletsword (13995 posts) -

well my english teacher is kind of in charge of the theater stuff so she can be dramatic and stuff, but I really like it when she says this at the end of class:

"Goodbye, good luck, and get out"

She also says this when we give her applause or clap for her for whatever reason:

"Thank you, thank you. Don't throw roses, throw money"

#35 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -
[QUOTE="VanHelsingBoA64"]

[QUOTE="carlosA_24"]my science teacher mubles about every 5 phrases, my english teacher says "ladies and gentlemen" every time someone says a word, my video production teacher cracks jokes that no one thinks is funny, my history teacher goes around to every desk and says "sssshhhhhhhhhh" very slowly, my algebra teacher has a huge butt, my pe teacher scratches his balls and he's 57.carlosA_24

Pics or it didn't happen.

dang i'll try to get some on tuesday, but its true 100%

Well?

#36 Posted by Xeros606 (11126 posts) -
[QUOTE="stevendiep_100"]

"how long should the essay be?"

"Just like a woman's skirt. Long enough so that it covers it, but still be short so that it's interesting."

AlternatingCaps

DO YOU HAVE MRS COLMAN AT ALICE C STELLE MIDDLE SCHOOL IN CALABASAS CALIFORNIA 91302????

BECAUSE I SURE DID. AND SHE SAID THAT. AND ALWAYS TOLD US " I don't see jam and scones, why are we having tea parties?" WHEN WE TALKED.

thank you for sharing this information. lol :P