Friend found out wife cheated at bachelorrete

they have been married for two, but recently he has discovered through photos that his wife cheated at her party with a male stripper. I dont know what to tell him, his sister told him after all this time that his wife left with the male stripper that night in her room, so they went all the way.

should he forgive

I wouldn't forgive her.

@Mercenary848: Cheating after many years of marriage and with a deteriorating relationship is hard to forgive...cheating at the beginning of a marriage...yeah...

What exactly did these photos show anyway?

@korvus: her fondling dudes junk, with her boobs

picture as proof please.

I thought it was maybe something like her sitting on his lap or something...yeah, that's definitely too far, regardless of what happened next...

@Ackad: No, if it was just a stripper rubbing on her or w/e fine have fun with it doesnt bother me, having sex is not apart of the bachelor party tradition at least where i come from.

Especially to lie so early in the marriage and not even come clean about it would take alot of counseling to get me to even close to feeling the same. i feel people play the divorce card too early these days nobody wants to work shit out because its hard

No way!!!

Bachelor and bachelorrete parties seem to be problematic as they often have strippers, alcohol, and the general pressure of getting lucky (or just being promiscuous in some manner) one last night because it is your last nigh to do anything of the sort with anyone else.

I don't know what I would do or how I might feel because of those circumstances. I wouldn't feel good about it naturally, but I know what usually goes on at those events.

it doesn't matter whether he forgives or not or how many more years they're going to stay together; their marriage is already over. (IMO)

If she was doing a Titfuck on the dude, then it's cheating. Plain and simple.

By the way, pic or it didn't happen.

I wouldn't forgive her

But regardless of whether or not he forgives her, there's no way he could ever trust her after this.

At the very least, he should cut all contact with her until he can get his head clear and then make a rational decision about what he wants to do.

What pisses me off the most about these kinds of situations is that she probably had at least a dozen friends with her, and not only did they not stop her, but they were probably cheering her on. What kind of friends do that?

well, it was her bachelor party, and yes it's supposed to be a one last time fling that isn't supposed to go anywhere, unless she's still seeing the stripper or it's part of a cheating pattern that's carried on into the marriage then it's something to be salvaged

he needs to call the Maury Povich show demanding she take a lie detector to validate her fidelity since marriage

@lamprey263: So you think it's ok to have sex with someone else at your bachelor's party?

@korvus: there is no such thing as a bachelor party, at that point the person is obviously with someone else

Once a cheater always a cheater so get rid of that one is the only option.

@Mercenary848: A bachelor is someone who is not and has never been married, bachelor doesn't mean "available".

What? There is definitely such thing as a bachelor party, also know as a stag night if you're not American.

no, I meant that that was probably her last night of being wild and she probably took it too far, I understand people do some stupid shit right before they get married, for instance it's typical that couples fighting right before a wedding happens a lot, this story of cheating is probably less common than typical couple fighting but it might be symptomatic of the anxieties people go through before getting hitched, but if that's her only stain on a two year relationship then it is salvageable

@lamprey263: Yeah, but getting shitfaced or being on the edge and shouting at one another is quite different from having sex with someone else...there's no amount of jitters that can possibly justify that.

So it's ok to cheat on your fiance with some random stripper as long as you're not married yet? Is that a joke?

"I'm about to spend the rest of my life with the person I love; I need to get some random guy's dick inside of me!" What kind of messed up logic is that?

The fact that she was at her bachelorette party and that it was "a one last time fling" is completely irrelevant. Cheating is cheating, and it's not acceptable or forgivable under any circumstance.

@Sword-Demon: @korvus:

dear lord you two, I'm not saying it's okay, I'm saying the relationship is salvageable, get a grip

sure, he can feel he's been betrayed, might even break up his marriage, but statistically, in the US at least, any new partner will be more likely than not to cheat on him too

and like in my original post on this thread, if the guy has suspicions about her behavior after marriage he can always go on Maury Povich for free, they'll lie detect her, he can know for certain if she's been faithful through the marriage or not if that's a concern too

@lamprey263: Why do we need to get a grip? You're saying you think a relationship is salvageable in that situation we are saying we think it is not. Different people have different opinions, learn to deal with it...

Who are you to say it's not salvageable? Just because you can't forgive someone who cheated that doesn't mean nobody can.

Well, what I got out of you two challenging my view was that you thought I was okay that someone cheated on her soon to be husband right before her their wedding. And I'm not saying that I'm okay with, I'm just saying I think that the circumstance of when it happened is a different shade of grey than cheating mid-relationship. And I said "get a grip" to you both because the tone seems combative from how I read it, not because you guys had contrary opinions with mine. I gladly accept contrary views on this, after all boards are for discussions.

@toast_burner: I'm not preventing anybody from forgiving and moving on because of my opinion, am I? I am of the opinion that even if you forgive you will never have a fully working relationship again...if I'm wrong, that'll make me happy =)

@lamprey263: I asked you directly because I found your post unclear, so I wanted to be sure what your opinion was; it wasn't intended as being confrontational.

And again who are you to make that claim? Just because you can never have a fully working relationship after having some difficulties, that doesn't mean nobody else can.

Stop acting like the way you think is the way everyone else must also think. Different people react differently. Some can never forgive, some can never move on, others can forgive and can move on.

@korvus: that's okay then, I was just taken aback a bit, because you're usually a cool and mellow guy most the times I pay attention.

@toast_burner: Did you fill your brain with oatmeal this morning? I'm stating my OPINION, nowhere am I claiming it to be the absolute truth. Who am I to have an opinion? Who are you to tell me I can't? For crying out loud dude, think before you post. If I say I don't think you can speak 10 languages, that in no way means that you can't...it also doesn't mean I'm telling everyone to think or act the same as me. Do you even know what an opinion is?

Sometimes you guys are so aggravating...

@lamprey263: I was watching a movie with my wife on the pc, so my answers were mostly alt+tab, reply in a hurry, alt+tab back...so they might have sounded a bit abrupt. My apologies. If I wanted to be confrontational my message would sound more like this one to toast =P

You do know what an opinion is right? An opinion is something like "I prefer the colour green" saying what you think other people will do is not opinion. An opinion has to be subjective, that is not subjective. It's either true or it's wrong.

Adding in my opinion does not exclude you from criticism. The fact is you made a claim that is completely idiotic and baseless.

@toast_burner: I know you're fucking with me, and it's mildly amusing, but seriously, stop =P

Also, "I like the color green" is a taste/preference, not an opinion. "I think green is a great color" is an opinion, or does that mean I'm trying to shove the liking of green down everybody's throats too since not everyone likes green?

Monogamy is stupid...

I don't see a problem.

I've never understood the point behind bachelor/bachelorettes parties. They don't exist in our culture. Probably because we think it's freaking stupid to celebrate the fact you're about to get married by jumping onto a party that will be full of cheating opportunities.

holy shit, that's bad

Sorry for coming off that way; I guess I was being a bit aggressive.

But I view infidelity as very black and white - no shades of grey. A promise to remain faithful to your SO should be a given at any point in a relationship. Whether you've been dating for a month or married for 50 years, cheating is cheating and a cheater is a cheater.

What I got from your first post (correct me if I'm wrong) is that the relationship can be saved because she cheated before they got married, but (presumably) not after. I don't get that. I see marriage as a confirmation of your feelings and desires; it doesn't create anything that wasn't there before. So to view it as a line where cheating is forgivable/salvageable on the unmarried side, but not on the married side is flawed imo.

i guess you have never been in love? if you have, youre okay with the one you love fucking other dudes/girls? i wouldnt be.

back on topic, i dont know what i would do. you think you married the right one and then find out something like this. like others have said once a cheater always a cheater. she thought it was okay to sleep with another man before she got married. whats going to stop her from doing it again? a wedding ring? i would say he should be allowed to go out and **** a girl or 10 for that matter and see how she likes it.

whats really crazy is how his sister knew and didnt tell him, like wtf.

Seemed you had a loving wife, so you cheat around ? =P

holy crap get a priest

Me i would just kill them both.

That is the only fitting punishment.

That's unfortunate. Does she remember it and kept it a secret or was too wasted to even remember and it was news to her too? Either way, that will take a lot of working through to move on from. Whether he forgives her should depend entirely on the circumstances and her reaction to it as well.

No, but I can understand why others do.

I'll have been married for 7 years in October.

@XilePrincess: When he confronted her with the picture she came clean. She says she is sorry, but idk its just so sketch.

My heart hurts reading that

She's definitely not worth keeping. There should be some sort of lengthy commitment before marriage. Getting with someone else the night before marriage isn't commitment.