Feeling like you don't belong anywhere....?

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#1 Posted by the_plan_man (1543 posts) -

I have that feeling. I was completely isolated my first two years, and now it just feels like I am a complete outsider. I am 21 with no girlfriend, not much of a social life, and not many talents. I try to integrate myself into several clubs at college, but only one has really "stuck." What do I do?

#2 Edited by Iszdope (9345 posts) -

You really need to talk with a professional.

Also, try growing a beard and then stroking it.

#3 Posted by elkoldo (843 posts) -

I have that feeling. I was completely isolated my first two years, and now it just feels like I am a complete outsider. I am 21 with no girlfriend, not much of a social life, and not many talents. I try to integrate myself into several clubs at college, but only one has really "stuck." What do I do?

Replace 21 by 20 , cross out "I integrate myself into clubs at college" , and you'll be speaking my words.

#4 Edited by Gaming-Planet (13687 posts) -

I mostly play inside my own little world. Never really think about what others are thinking of me these days. It used give me anxiety just watching out how other people behave in different environments. I do somewhat analyze but I like to focus on other things more, like things that are important for tomorrow.

#5 Posted by junglist101 (5453 posts) -

The best advice I can give you is to work on yourself. The rest will fall into place.

#6 Posted by The_Lipscomb (2187 posts) -

Dude, it could be so much worse, seriously. Just be glad you have your health. Stop worrying about these small little things, and just try to enjoy living life. We are just self aware animals, and you're getting caught up on small things. Want a girlfriend? Go get one, nobody is stopping you. There are 6 billion people in the world. Get rejected? Who cares, move on to the next one.

#7 Edited by -ParaNormaN- (649 posts) -

I'm almost the same as you TC except, I have been told I have musical talent since I can learn songs by ear and have a social like eliminating being an outsider. HOWEVER, try being the guy who's 2 best friends are in shape, good looking, and successful while you are fat, unemployed, always see friends getting hit on or getting girls phone numbers, and want to cry in a corner each and every time it happens. Yeah, that's me right there.

This thread is full of Satan worhsippers.

#8 Edited by sukraj (21470 posts) -

Never had that feeling.

#9 Edited by GazaAli (22437 posts) -

The best advice I can give you is to work on yourself. The rest will fall into place.

Word.

#10 Posted by ShepardCommandr (2070 posts) -

I am pretty much like you op,only worse.At first it bothered me but now i just don't care anymore.

#11 Edited by jasean79 (2018 posts) -

You're young yet. I really didn't know who I was and where I belonged until my late 20's (I'm 35 now). Best advice I can give you is to try and focus on the good things and not the bad. It's too easy to fall into the "why me?" mindset. Negativity is like a disease and if you don't combat it early, it can grow into something much worse.

Hang in there.

#12 Posted by elkoldo (843 posts) -

Dude, it could be so much worse, seriously. Just be glad you have your health. Stop worrying about these small little things, and just try to enjoy living life. We are just self aware animals, and you're getting caught up on small things. Want a girlfriend? Go get one, nobody is stopping you. There are 6 billion people in the world. Get rejected? Who cares, move on to the next one.

This man, right here, is my hero !

<3

#13 Edited by -Renegade (8340 posts) -

start talking to people. sometimes the hardest things to do in life have the simplest answers to get them done. go up to people say hi, ask them about themselves, tell them about you, ask them what they like to do, ask them if they wanna hang out, just get to know them etc do this with everyone you meet.

#14 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (15647 posts) -

Let's see. There was a time when I was 21 years old. I recall being a natural lone wolf and liked being on my own. But, I also excelled in academics and sports. I had a good demeanor which tended to draw people closer. I made many lifelong friends even though I didn't really look for them in the beginning. They make up the bulk of my FB friends. We simply use FB as a glorified e-mail.

Women? That's always been a mixed bag although I did win in the end. I won't say much in case the wife is watching this. He He.

#15 Posted by gamerguru100 (10346 posts) -

I have that feeling. I was completely isolated my first two years, and now it just feels like I am a complete outsider. I am 21 with no girlfriend, not much of a social life, and not many talents. I try to integrate myself into several clubs at college, but only one has really "stuck." What do I do?

I'm the same as you except for the college club shit.

#16 Posted by TehFuneral (8017 posts) -

The best advice I can give you is to work on yourself. The rest will fall into place.

Exactly. Invest in yourself and stop caring what other people may think about you.

#17 Posted by edwise18 (1401 posts) -

Just try to get out and talk to people and be more social. Also alcohol in the right amount helps loosen you up.

#18 Posted by bobaban (10502 posts) -

Women? That's always been a mixed bag although I did win in the end. I won't say much in case the wife is watching this. He He.

Can't speak your mind, even on the the internet? If that's winning I don''t want any part of it.

#19 Edited by Storm_Marine (10766 posts) -

@bobaban said:

@jun_aka_pekto said:

Women? That's always been a mixed bag although I did win in the end. I won't say much in case the wife is watching this. He He.

Can't speak your mind, even on the the internet? If that's winning I don''t want any part of it.

doesn't matter, had sex.

#20 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (15647 posts) -

@bobaban said:

@jun_aka_pekto said:

Women? That's always been a mixed bag although I did win in the end. I won't say much in case the wife is watching this. He He.

Can't speak your mind, even on the the internet? If that's winning I don''t want any part of it.

One thing I've learned all these years is that women are notoriously unpredictable. I'm riding a high wave now. No need to rock the boat.

#21 Posted by joehult (349 posts) -

Embrace living single, have fun knowing all of your income is going to you, and you alone. I have seen way too many friends and coworkers have their lives destroyed because of some bitch. Meanwhile I'm taking trips every other month, own plenty of toys to keep me busy on weekends, and save over half my pay checks. There is a reason society wants us married with kids, because they don't want single guys having fun while everyone else is miserable.

#22 Posted by elkoldo (843 posts) -

@joehult: l LOLed but just wish I could agree.

#23 Edited by ExtremeBanana (152 posts) -

dont wowwy ill be ur fwend

#24 Edited by Mercenary848 (9039 posts) -

Let's see. There was a time when I was 21 years old. I recall being a natural lone wolf and liked being on my own. But, I also excelled in academics and sports. I had a good demeanor which tended to draw people closer. I made many lifelong friends even though I didn't really look for them in the beginning. They make up the bulk of my FB friends. We simply use FB as a glorified e-mail.

Women? That's always been a mixed bag although I did win in the end. I won't say much in case the wife is watching this. He He.

Nice, I try to tell people it always gets better if you do not give up

#25 Posted by awesome3496 (2113 posts) -

#26 Posted by tocool340 (20401 posts) -

Grind it out. Sooner or later you're gonna find a group of people you feel comfortable being around. To increase your chances of that happening, you got to analyze yourself. Find out what you excel at, what your interests are, and what adjustments can you make to yourself without conflicting with your interests. Then, seek out groups or gatherings that revolve around your interest. If gaming is something you do, look for tournaments to join in. If you're into books, libraries usually have groups. Simply getting into groups or participating in gatherings that corresponds with your interests and hobbies should be enough to make your life much more enjoyable while potentially earning you good friends that you can have a good time with...

#27 Posted by plageus900 (901 posts) -