Embarassing things you used to believe as a kid

And please no cliche (insert religious belief here) responses.

Anyway, I used to think that oral sex just meant kissing. :/

That girls pee from their butthole

That if you try hard enough you can become anything you want.

That professionals know what they are doing.

Well this thread is off to a depressing start.

Well, you took away a significant part of the fun from the get go. Someone saying: "God" followed by 3 to 4 quotes without comments followed by a butt-hurt religious dude saying something stupid and the ensuing hilariousness.

my brothers told me the banana "strings" (or veins or whatever they are) are poisonous.

i peeled those off for years afterwards.

also, i never believed anything anyone ever told me after that for the rest of my life as evidenced by basically everything i have ever said here in ot.

@Riverwolf007: Well that's one way to overreact...

and then a thread-lock

Doubtful since "God" would be a legitimate answer to the thread topic. Any "making fun" would just be par for the course in OT.

Anyways, I'm totally drawing a blank.

Can't really think of anything funny but I'll be sure to update my post if I do. Only thing I remember is believing my parents when they taught me all black people were violent thieves and that gay was a disease and that you could catch it just by standing close to a gay person. My parents sucked...

That during sex the penis simply touches the vagina instead of penetrating...

I was pretty cluey as a kid, so nothing I can really think of.

The only thing that comes to mind is that I used to think that it rained everywhere at the same time (sun showers showed that wasn't quite the case when you walk a few meters to the left or right...).

"Cheaters never prosper"

"Crime doesn't pay"

They're both bullshit.

I used to believe people were generally good. Now I see humanity for what it is; a shit stain blight that will kill itself off.

That people telling me god was real had evidence and were telling me the truth. Quickly got myself past that one, glad I did early as who the **** knows how I might have turned out other wise.

i assumed color was invented in like the 1950s because most movies and tv from before then was black and white. i just assumed that the whole world was black and white

@korvus: "Only thing I remember is believing my parents when they taught me all black people were violent thieves and that gay was a disease and that you could catch it just by standing close to a gay person. My parents sucked..."

Were your parents old?

@PSP107: They were 37 when I was born. I have a sister who's 14 years older than me.

I thought the emergency brake lever in cars ejected the car seats up out the cars.

My sister wasn't a total bitch

That Woman had no genitalia. Probably the case for alot of male kids I imagine.

That I invented masturbation, that I was deviously perverted for doing it, and I was going to go to Hell for it. Just basic Catholic shame stuff.

That all drugs were equally bad. They basically used to just show us videos of unstable people on PCP and are like "that's all drugs". They never truly explored the various realities regarding various drugs, from marijuana, to LSD or mushrooms, ecstasy, to the more harmful drugs like cocaine, speed, meth, PCP, heroin.

that my sister couldnt grow hair under her armpits.

with the exception of being president, i would say this is true.

I used to believe that most people are stupid.

I've heard from several people over the years they used to think Asian girls had slanted vaginas... I have no idea where they'd come to think that.

That reminds me of this one time when I saw a doctor eating. Then I asked, "hey doc, what are you doing?" Then he just looked at me like I was a total idiot and replied, "what does it look like I'm doing? I'm eating my lunch."

Wow so deep

That's cute =D

This coming from someone who DEFINITELY has internet access, and probably doesn't have to worry too much about starving, freezing, being murdered, or being killed by wild animals.

Point being, FOR THE MOST PART, modern life is pretty freaking sweet for people in MOST PLACES. Yes, there are definitely exceptions and there are certainly still atrocities going on. But the fact that so many poor people are experiencing an OBESITY EPIDEMIC rather than flat out starving ought to tell you something. The days of conquering and raping and pillaging are FOR THE MOST PART gone (for now). The days of slavery are FOR THE MOST PART gone (for now). The days when being poor meant a very good chance that you and your entire family will starve to death come winter because the governments have a "**** that" stance towards providing assistance to the needy are FOR THE MOST PART gone (for now). Hell, the days when open and honest criticism of our governments and leaders and established institutions would get you and your family tortured or exiled or murdered are FOR THE MOST PART gone (for now).

That isn't to say that all of these problems don't still exist on some level. But compare to how things have been throughout much of human history, and a lot of things really have gotten a LOT fucking better. The very fact that we can complain about this shit without worrying about being killed or exiled or tortured or imprisoned or forced to fight to the death in arenas for other people's amusement ought to indicate that things have progressed a lot. And people have actually given their lives in order for that progress to happen. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that humanity is all sunshine and roses. But look at recent tragedies, like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, or the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami that killed some 230,000 people. A lot of incidents such as these create massive chaos, disrupt law enforcement, and make it REALLY freaking easy to get away with murder. We're talking about the kinds of apocalyptic shit that happens in movies right before all the characters go straight to murdering and eating each other. But in real life? More often than not, People TRY TO HELP. Or at the very least, don't actively try to hurt by preying on the weak. Humanity has problems, but if we were just a "shit stain blight" then we've had PLENTY of opportunities to kill ourselves and instead chosen to help each other out.

And here's the point where I mention that we often see in others what we see in ourselves. Like, suppose I have major trust issues and constantly think that all of my girlfriends are gonna cheat on me at any available opportunity. That MIGHT be because fate has been really mean to me, and everyone I ever loved was an unfaithful cheating witch. Or MAYBE it's because I'm simply applying "it's what I would do." As in, I'm not terribly worried about being brutally murdered in broad daylight in a crowded place. Why? Because IF I were gonna brutally murder someone, it probably wouldn't be in broad daylight in front of a crowd of onlookers. Since I am probably not very special, MOST people (even the people who don't mind murdering the shit out of someone) PROBABLY won't murder the shit out of someone in those conditions. Similarly, even if I really DID have the opportunity to murder someone and get away with it, I still swouldn't do it. Operating under the principle that I am not special, I'd expect MOST people to NOT murder another person even if they had the opportunity to get away with it. And that's sort of how reality plays out. I've been in a shitload of situations where I could have murdered or been murdered, but the fact remains that MOST PEOPLE aren't gonna murder a dude (even if they can get away with it) because most people really don't want to murder someone. Which brings me to my point...if you just assume that you're gonna be murdered any time someone has the opportunity, then you're sort of making an assumption about humanity. That that's how humans act. So...either you think you're special, that "people" would totally do that but you're somehow better than most people, or you're saying that that's what most people would do because you'd do the same. So that's my real question here. WHY do you consider humanity to be a "shit stain"? Do you think that you're NOT a shit stain, that you're somehow better than the rest of humanity? Or are you assuming that humanity is a shit stain because that's how you see yourself? And that's not a rhetorical question, I'd really be interested in you thinking about that and actually giving an honest answer. No judgement, I'd just really like to know. Is your low opinion of humanity based on a belief in your own superiority or is it based on a total lack of belief in your own self-worth?

I used to think that something was seriously wrong with me masturbating. Nothing religious, just that it was some weird disorder or something.

I thought girls peed out their butts. I imagine many boys think this for obvious reasons.

I don't think there was a single soul in my elementary school that believed girls had penises inside of their vaginas and that it was only used to pee.

I can't believe I missed such gem thread. Korvus you should stickey this thread for a while!

I shed tears with laughter when I read this. Seriously, it kept me on for ten minutes, so hard that I strained some muscles in my stomach. God only knows I hadn't laughed like this in ages. Just visualizing the doc's face...

lol at this one too. (korvus do you remember the Asian dude several months back, in a trench coat with nothing underneath it, who asked you if you were interested in sex tape, while you wre walking down the street ?! )

@elkoldo: What are ya buyin'?

@MrGeezer: You make valid points that as a whole, humanity is better now than we used to be. You mentioned that we have technology and have it easy while others in third world countries still starve. We still have a long fucking way to go.

I work with a police station and the shit I see every day, every fucking day, shows me that here in America at least, we're heading for another war. My guess is a second civil war. On a smaller level, people don't give a shit about each other. They are self absorbed, relatively stupid and entitled. Our government promotes stupidity because they don't want a second revolutionary war. Dependant people generally don't bite the hand that feeds.

Do I consider myself better than others? A good percentage, yes. There are people better than me though. We have the means to ensure everyone eats. We have the means to help others in need. For the most part, people don't even bother to stop and ask if people are ok if they come up to a car accident. Then you go even more mundane to forums like these and what do I see from a group that should be friends? I see hate. A group of people with a hobby in common and they fucking hate on each other. That right there is just part of the problem.

I still believe that actually.

That my mom was tall but no she is only 1.65 xD so now i am towering over her... *sigh* life is funny...

I used to believe sharks and catching fire would be a more common hazard in my life.

@korvus:

When were born?

No kidding

Anyway, when i was really young, I thought pregnancy was caused by the marriage kiss.

You mean my parents or myself? My parents were born in 46 and I was born in 85.

@korvus:

Then they were about 39 when they had you.

But the point I was getting at is that your parents grew upup in the 50's/60's where bigotry was very high.

White America were clueless(Still are) in those times of how others really are.

I would say it depends on what industry you're in. Some industries require a whole lotta luck while others require just a tiny bit of it. My point? Hard work alone doesn't always get it done.

@PSP107: I'm Portuguese but the same applies...black and gay people still need to deal with a lot of prejudice there.