As a male, should you be the one that pursue a relationship?

This topic is locked from further discussion.

Avatar image for SoSadLife
SoSadLife

197

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#1 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

So if there is a girl you like, or a girl that is giving you signals that she likes you, should you always be the one who actively pursue that you have a romantic relationship with the girl? I mean should it be you who tells the girl that you like her , ask her out, and would want to be with her on no rare occasion or does that eventually develop mutually after you have spent some time with a girl and found out that you both like each other to the point that telling her you like her is not-so-awkward?

The reason I ask this is because there is this girl I like, we talk, make fun of, and annoy each other but I've never done anything to indicate to her that I have a crush on her (as not to come off as a desperate clinging creep). I just act normal and do what I always like to do without making any stupid moves.

Also, how does someone pursue a relationship without coming off as head over heels over the other person? The way I think of it, the outcome is that the girl is probably

A. Going to want to be with you because she likes you.

B. Going to use you because you would do anything for her.

C. Going to judge you and create a negative image of you in her mind and stay away from you.

sorry im really naive.

Any help would appreciate it a lot.

Avatar image for SoSadLife
SoSadLife

197

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#2 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

bump, anyone?

Avatar image for SilentFireX
SilentFireX

1956

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3 SilentFireX
Member since 2005 • 1956 Posts
Touch her shoulder. Works every time.
Avatar image for TheHighWind
TheHighWind

5724

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#4 TheHighWind
Member since 2003 • 5724 Posts

If a male doesn't pursue a relationship, he will be single until he's 72.

 

There are rare cases when a girl will make the first move and if you don't respond it's over.

Avatar image for xTheExploited
xTheExploited

12094

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#5 xTheExploited
Member since 2007 • 12094 Posts
you just gotta go for it. there will be no moment where you both suddenly realise your feelings for each other and you come together, you may both be thinking it but nothings gonna happen til you make that leap. could go on and on about why girls dont pursue relationships like men but the fact of the matter is they dont. its gonna be more painful sitting there wondering what if than her rejecting you. the way i've found it is if she does seem like she is interested and makes time for you, then she probably is.
Avatar image for michael_1234576
michael_1234576

8621

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#6 michael_1234576
Member since 2004 • 8621 Posts

Who the heck asks someone if they like them? If you think she likes you just ask her out! 

Avatar image for DJ-Lafleur
DJ-Lafleur

35604

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 0

#7 DJ-Lafleur
Member since 2007 • 35604 Posts

Guys generally are the ones that have to take the dive in terms of startinga relationship, since women gene4rally care more about things like confidence or courage in their partner more than guys do. That's how I imagine it all came to be anyways.

Avatar image for comp_atkins
comp_atkins

38675

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

#8 comp_atkins
Member since 2005 • 38675 Posts
you could always just ask her out.
Avatar image for br0kenrabbit
br0kenrabbit

17859

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 10

User Lists: 0

#9 br0kenrabbit
Member since 2004 • 17859 Posts

you could always just ask her out.comp_atkins

As I've said before: don't ask. Just grab her hand and say "we're going to go get some ice cream" and start walking. Be the man.

But yeah, I've been on both sides of the stick: I've been pursued and I've done the pursuing. Not all women are shy about their intentions.

 

 

Avatar image for Oleg_Huzwog
Oleg_Huzwog

21885

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#10 Oleg_Huzwog
Member since 2007 • 21885 Posts

Club her over the head and drag your new mate by the hair, caveman style.

Avatar image for MrGeezer
MrGeezer

59765

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#11 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts
No it's not your responsibility, as a male, to be the one who pursues a relationship. It's your responsibility, as the person who wants a relationship, to be the one who pursues a relationship. Generally speaking, if you want something then it's your responsibility to go out and get it. The fact that some people have to work less is irrelevant.
Avatar image for General_X
General_X

9137

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#12 General_X
Member since 2003 • 9137 Posts
While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...
Avatar image for MrGeezer
MrGeezer

59765

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#13 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts
While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...General_X
One should have that attitude about everything. Not just relationships, but anything worth getting. For most people in most situations, life isn't in the habit of just dropping good things in your lap. If you want something, you've gotta go out and pursue it. Sure, that doesn't mean that you'll get it, but your odds are better than if you just sit on your ass waiting for good things to happen.
Avatar image for ionusX
ionusX

25777

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 8

User Lists: 0

#14 ionusX
Member since 2009 • 25777 Posts

While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...General_X
mmhmm life isnt going to hand u a relationship very often on a platter. you need to make the effort or you WILL its 100% guaranteed be alone till they put u in a box n bury ur arse. im 24 my plans atm are to start looking fora partner however due to my age im going to wait till ive moved out of my parents basement and that my friends is in a very real time frame (less than 6mo.)

Avatar image for CRS98
CRS98

9036

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 7

User Lists: 0

#15 CRS98
Member since 2004 • 9036 Posts
Personally, I just wait by the sidelines with my boyish looks, hoping to get passively molested by females.
Avatar image for deactivated-5e9044657a310
deactivated-5e9044657a310

8136

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#16 deactivated-5e9044657a310
Member since 2005 • 8136 Posts
Get real sweaty and then rub the sweat from your ball sack all over your neck and chest. Head out for a night on the town. The ladies will pick up the pheromones and come straight to you. It's as easy as ordering from McDonalds
Avatar image for jim_shorts
jim_shorts

7320

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 19

User Lists: 0

#17 jim_shorts
Member since 2006 • 7320 Posts
Touch her shoulder. Works every time.SilentFireX
I think I'm going to create an account called 2008 then log in and ask for my joke back every time this gets posted.
Avatar image for Adversary16
Adversary16

1705

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 14

User Lists: 0

#18 Adversary16
Member since 2007 • 1705 Posts
[QUOTE="General_X"]While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...MrGeezer
One should have that attitude about everything. Not just relationships, but anything worth getting. For most people in most situations, life isn't in the habit of just dropping good things in your lap. If you want something, you've gotta go out and pursue it. Sure, that doesn't mean that you'll get it, but your odds are better than if you just sit on your ass waiting for good things to happen.

If you look really good, shouldn't the girls ask you out?
Avatar image for supa_badman
supa_badman

16714

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 8

User Lists: 0

#19 supa_badman
Member since 2008 • 16714 Posts
[QUOTE="MrGeezer"][QUOTE="General_X"]While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...Adversary16
One should have that attitude about everything. Not just relationships, but anything worth getting. For most people in most situations, life isn't in the habit of just dropping good things in your lap. If you want something, you've gotta go out and pursue it. Sure, that doesn't mean that you'll get it, but your odds are better than if you just sit on your ass waiting for good things to happen.

If you look really good, shouldn't the girls ask you out?

Apart from social norms, most men are afraid of women who are forward and direct. They aren't used to having roles reversed and frankly, I think most women know this
Avatar image for General_X
General_X

9137

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#20 General_X
Member since 2003 • 9137 Posts
[QUOTE="MrGeezer"][QUOTE="General_X"]While some may argue that a progressive society would see the women asking men out equally as often, the reality is that if you don't make the move you'll very likely be alone for a long time...Adversary16
One should have that attitude about everything. Not just relationships, but anything worth getting. For most people in most situations, life isn't in the habit of just dropping good things in your lap. If you want something, you've gotta go out and pursue it. Sure, that doesn't mean that you'll get it, but your odds are better than if you just sit on your ass waiting for good things to happen.

If you look really good, shouldn't the girls ask you out?

Not necessarily, but if you look really good the odds are good that they'll keep talking to you after you start the conversation even if you're spewing crap and/or are an idiot.
Avatar image for SilentFireX
SilentFireX

1956

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#21 SilentFireX
Member since 2005 • 1956 Posts
[QUOTE="SilentFireX"]Touch her shoulder. Works every time.jim_shorts
I think I'm going to create an account called 2008 then log in and ask for my joke back every time this gets posted.

As long as people continue to seek ridiculous relationship advice on a gaming forum, that response is well-deserved.
Avatar image for TehFuneral
TehFuneral

8237

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#22 TehFuneral
Member since 2007 • 8237 Posts

I don't know tbh.

I mean, no matter how tough and confident a girl might be, gender roles will always be though of by people.. and males are generally though of to be the person that goes around trying to find mates.

Avatar image for Ace_of_Spades90
Ace_of_Spades90

815

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#23 Ace_of_Spades90
Member since 2012 • 815 Posts

*sigh* You need advice on this? Really? Girls are so easy to talk to. Just be confident, be yourself, and casually ask her if she wants to see a movie or something casual like that. And please stop being a doormat. Do you really think girls want a guy like that?

Avatar image for MrPraline
MrPraline

21351

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

#24 MrPraline
Member since 2008 • 21351 Posts
[QUOTE="SilentFireX"]Touch her shoulder. Works every time.jim_shorts
I think I'm going to create an account called 2008 then log in and ask for my joke back every time this gets posted.

lol
Avatar image for brickdoctor
brickdoctor

9746

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 156

User Lists: 0

#25 brickdoctor
Member since 2008 • 9746 Posts

Whoever feels the strongest about the other will launch the relationship.

Avatar image for MrPraline
MrPraline

21351

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

#26 MrPraline
Member since 2008 • 21351 Posts

Whoever feels the strongest about the other will launch the relationship.

brickdoctor
Ideally, yes, but that's not always the case in reality.
Avatar image for TehFuneral
TehFuneral

8237

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#27 TehFuneral
Member since 2007 • 8237 Posts

*sigh* You need advice on this? Really? Girls are so easy to talk to. Just be confident, be yourself, and casually ask her if she wants to see a movie or something casual like that. And please stop being a doormat. Do you really think girls want a guy like that?

Ace_of_Spades90

lol!

Call me stupid but I didn't get the reference xD.

Avatar image for BossPerson
BossPerson

9177

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#28 BossPerson
Member since 2011 • 9177 Posts

If a male doesn't pursue a relationship, he will be single until he's 72.

 

There are rare cases when a girl will make the first move and if you don't respond it's over.

TheHighWind
Avatar image for LOXO7
LOXO7

5595

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#29 LOXO7
Member since 2008 • 5595 Posts
I like my relationship with Mcdonalds. They offer cheep food and I offer them demand.
Avatar image for MgamerBD
MgamerBD

17550

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#30 MgamerBD
Member since 2006 • 17550 Posts
Yeah...you want sex right?
Avatar image for leviathan91
leviathan91

7763

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 0

#31 leviathan91
Member since 2007 • 7763 Posts

It's natural for males to go after and court females and it has always been the case since the dawn of time, and it's not just humans but most of the animal kingdom.

But yes a female could pursue a relationship as well.

Avatar image for deactivated-6243ee9902175
deactivated-6243ee9902175

5847

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#32 deactivated-6243ee9902175
Member since 2007 • 5847 Posts

Society says yes, because males are saw as ones who are supposed to make the aggressive moves like that. Personally, I think it should go both ways because   some males, like some females, aren't outgoing, while some are. 

Avatar image for nightshade869
nightshade869

3457

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 14

User Lists: 0

#33 nightshade869
Member since 2007 • 3457 Posts

bump, anyone?

SoSadLife
Start showing signs that you like her and see if she responds. It is really easy to read body language man. Try casual physical contact when it is appropriate like when joining a group to say high touch her mid back lightly (not creepily) and say hello to everyone, but her first. Stuff like that, not rocket science ;-). Just go for it, the worst thing that can happen is she doesn't show interest back and you remain friends or if you do ask (which you should do) she says no. It will suck more not knowing. The risk is worth it.
Avatar image for Hate_Squad
Hate_Squad

1357

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

#34 Hate_Squad
Member since 2007 • 1357 Posts

If a male doesn't pursue a relationship, he will be single until he's 72.

 

There are rare cases when a girl will make the first move and if you don't respond it's over.

TheHighWind

well if you are super ugly yes,you will be single forever,but even mediocre guys get hit on sometimes,its just because they arent used to this that they miss many signals,sometimes even straightforward flirting.
also the whole"guys should make the first move",its just a mindset that females try to impose on us(and have succeeded in a huge degree) cause they dont want to risk rejection,its far easier for them to just choose from guys that hit on them.even though the situation has begun changing and girls make the first move a considerate amount of times(and i dont only mean on good looking guys).i personally got asked out last week and im far from good looking,im average at best

Avatar image for CKYguy25
CKYguy25

2087

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#35 CKYguy25
Member since 2012 • 2087 Posts

Touch her shoulder. Works every time.SilentFireX

good one

Avatar image for Angie7F
Angie7F

1175

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#36 Angie7F
Member since 2011 • 1175 Posts

I dont think it matters who pursues first.

If you want someone, you gotta make the action or forever regret.

Avatar image for Rhazakna
Rhazakna

11022

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#37 Rhazakna
Member since 2004 • 11022 Posts
Women have asked me out before, on several occasions. That said, I do usually have to make the first move.
Avatar image for metroidprime55
metroidprime55

17657

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

#38 metroidprime55
Member since 2008 • 17657 Posts
I've learned to not pursue a relationship. It never works out, they just end up hating me for asking them out because they don't want me to like them.:/ But yeah, traditionally the man is meant to pursue the relationship and it's often looked upon as more respectable when the man is the one who asks the girl out other than the other way around.
Avatar image for Diablo-B
Diablo-B

4063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#39 Diablo-B
Member since 2009 • 4063 Posts
Im not sure how related to this topic this is but I will add my own personal experience. I have found that for whatever reason I get no luck when I ask out women of my own race. Im biracial but I generally self identify as Black since thats the neighborhood I grew up in. Making the first move on black girls has never worked for me. All the black GFs I have had they made the first move. But when I approach white or latin girls I have far more success. I dont know if its a black girl thing or something that Im doing that works on everyone except black girls or if white/latin girls just have a fetish for black guys.
Avatar image for ristactionjakso
ristactionjakso

6118

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 39

User Lists: 0

#40 ristactionjakso
Member since 2011 • 6118 Posts

Relationships are bullspit these days. People just arent mature enought to have one anymore.

Why should the male have to do the work? Vice Versa? Why cant 2 human beings just mutually pursue something rather than playing a game?

Avatar image for deactivated-59913425220eb
deactivated-59913425220eb

1772

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#41 deactivated-59913425220eb
Member since 2002 • 1772 Posts
Yes. be a man, man up, and grow some balls and take the responisibility of a possible let down when you pursue the woman. You thus avoid the ever so popular "friend-zone", which is a stupid idea that I don't agree that it exists.