Angry/ Stressed.... advice?

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#1 Posted by dazzzilla (1246 posts) -

Obviously this is a game forum, but like all places there are people... so everyone has an opinion...

So what I was going to ask is for some advice as to how to deal with a particular life issue. I am finding myself angry and stressed as hell, angry more than anything. Like I'll be fine, but inside i'll be angry and it doesn't take long for me to snap, I absolutely hate it, i've always had a shorter temper, enjoy throwing controllers when things don't go well in games etc. But having it constantly brewing is something that annoys me to bits, today is when I realised... got to the gym, tiniest thing went wrong, I wasn't doing the exercise properly, I got the S&its threw my phone and walked out drove off leaving my mate there alone.

I don't know what is causing it? in 2010, I had some anxiety issues, which now looking back seem absolutely stupid, I'm sure there is a post on this forum about that too!, I didn't work, I struggled to go to work when I started, I dropped out of uni, had no idea where my life was going. 2013, 3 years later, I am doing university full time in my 3rd year now, I work full time and it does get hectic no doubt... I've managed to buy a new car, and am now saving up for a house deposit and for braces. That is my life situation at the moment, I look back at 2010 and think wow, I've done something but as we all know success doesn't buy happiness..... However on the side there is a girl who I really like, however, I just can't bring myself to tell her, I believe that this is something that is left over from the anxiety... and this is what I think could be pushing this issue more, I see the person once a week and I get worried as that day comes and that worry turns into stress, anger etc.

I am sick of living this way though, as this is a game forum I will say that when I play a video game, I'll be thinking of other garbage in the background meaning that I can't even enjoy it...

How does one deal with all this?

I mean what is good to reduce the stress when uni and work pack out life? How do I find the guts to walk up to this girl? Are there any tips for reducing anger? (This can include vitamins and exercising! but please no psychologist's went to one for the anxiety, was even looking back now a waste of time)

Thanks everyone!

#2 Posted by TehFuneral (8086 posts) -

Whoa, slow down there buddy..

First of all, you seem to be having anger management problems. chill brah. If you feel angry just find a way to let it out, whether it be going to the gym, running, beating the crap out of a pillow w/e.. just change scenery and chill out.

As for stress, its the little victories that would make you keep on going. If you find yourself unable to have that motivation back in your head and the inspiration to keep on going then find a way you can reward yourself for doing so much work everytime you get some sh!t done. Trust me, it works.

Better days will come.

#3 Posted by dazzzilla (1246 posts) -

Whoa, slow down there buddy..

First of all, you seem to be having anger management problems. chill brah. If you feel angry just find a way to let it out, whether it be going to the gym, running, beating the crap out of a pillow w/e.. just change scenery and chill out.

As for stress, its the little victories that would make you keep on going. If you find yourself unable to have that motivation back in your head and the inspiration to keep on going then find a way you can reward yourself for doing so much work everytime you get some sh!t done. Trust me, it works.

Better days will come.

TehFuneral

Is letting it out good though? I've been told by people not to do it because it becomes a habit or something... but what do I know... I wouldn't be asking if i did! haha.

I seem to struggle with the balance of things, like in 2010, I had so much time to relax, but I hated my life, I honestly did wish it would end back then!, now that I'm working and at uni, I'm finding it very stressful... just can't seem to break even.. I know it'll get better when I'm done with uni and doing what I like not a side job to make up money while I get the degreee.

#4 Posted by hippiesanta (9992 posts) -
Eat more chicken wing and potato chips .... that will help out ur stress
#5 Posted by Dogswithguns (10937 posts) -
Drinking coffee get rid of stress.. also once in a while go outside look up the blue sky get some fresh air.
#6 Posted by tenaka2 (17040 posts) -

Go to fight club.

#7 Posted by dazzzilla (1246 posts) -

Taking all the legit advice :P. Anyone else got any?

Might try go somewhere by myself to relax for a day or something...

#8 Posted by tumbIew33d (369 posts) -
That all sounds very stressful. At least you're aware you're behaving irrationally. Maybe there's a physical dimension to the problem too. I'd get my blood pressure checked out; maybe a few lifestyle changes would help - cut out coffee, do more cardio-focused exercise... that sort of thing.
#9 Posted by themajormayor (24301 posts) -
Start smoking
#10 Posted by koospetoors (3245 posts) -

Go to fight club.

tenaka2
Rule 1, dammit! Anyway, it sounds like you really just need a nice long break from everything, have you got any far away place you can go to just to relax for a while? Even if its just for a day or a weekend, just go off somewhere and switch off so you can refresh yourself a bit from the bucket load of stress you've been receiving from your busy lifestyle. And regarding the girl, just walk up to her, tell her you like her and ask her out for a drink or whatever (its not as hard as you think, the trick lies in not running the possible outcomes through your mind and not giving yourself time to hesitate). If she accepts, good for you! If she rejects, then at least you know you tried and can move on to the next one.
#11 Posted by Pittfan666 (8534 posts) -
Drink the pain away.
#12 Posted by GameGuy642003 (1768 posts) -
Honestly just be careful about the advice you hear from a gaming forum, even from me, because some of these people might be in the same boat as you and give you wrong advice. But if I may ask, where do you go to find joy? You know, someplace where the anger goes away. You mentioned video games and/or the gym, but that it doesn't seem to work. If those don't work where else would you go to help "manage" this problem? I can tell you that anything you do won't get rid of this problem. For example, if you get into a relationship with a girl it certainly might help your anger issues for a while, that time might be filled with joy and it would seem your anger issues are gone. But how long do you think it will take before it comes back? I might also add that this issue goes far deeper than just spouts of anger, it believe it's an issue of your identity, who you really are. Who am I, what defines me?
#13 Posted by TehFuneral (8086 posts) -

[QUOTE="TehFuneral"]

Whoa, slow down there buddy..

First of all, you seem to be having anger management problems. chill brah. If you feel angry just find a way to let it out, whether it be going to the gym, running, beating the crap out of a pillow w/e.. just change scenery and chill out.

As for stress, its the little victories that would make you keep on going. If you find yourself unable to have that motivation back in your head and the inspiration to keep on going then find a way you can reward yourself for doing so much work everytime you get some sh!t done. Trust me, it works.

Better days will come.

dazzzilla

Is letting it out good though? I've been told by people not to do it because it becomes a habit or something... but what do I know... I wouldn't be asking if i did! haha.

I seem to struggle with the balance of things, like in 2010, I had so much time to relax, but I hated my life, I honestly did wish it would end back then!, now that I'm working and at uni, I'm finding it very stressful... just can't seem to break even.. I know it'll get better when I'm done with uni and doing what I like not a side job to make up money while I get the degreee.

Let it out, people who tend to hold it suffer much more than people who express their anger. However, you should pay attention on how you let out your anger as you might hurt people who are close to you with your actions or words. If that happens a sincere apology should suffice, and people do understand.It is much more better for your mental health if you let out your anger.

I know how it feels, I've been in the same position as you once were. Just keep it on your mind that there is nothing of benefit that comes from lamenting on the past, and since you are finding yourself stressed then that means you have changed from the person you once where and now you are progressing, you simply need to find a method that you can control all the amount of workload and stress that you are facing.

#14 Posted by BossPerson (9124 posts) -
Start smokingthemajormayor
crack
#15 Posted by KiIIyou (27155 posts) -

[QUOTE="TehFuneral"]

Whoa, slow down there buddy..

First of all, you seem to be having anger management problems. chill brah. If you feel angry just find a way to let it out, whether it be going to the gym, running, beating the crap out of a pillow w/e.. just change scenery and chill out.

As for stress, its the little victories that would make you keep on going. If you find yourself unable to have that motivation back in your head and the inspiration to keep on going then find a way you can reward yourself for doing so much work everytime you get some sh!t done. Trust me, it works.

Better days will come.

dazzzilla

Is letting it out good though? I've been told by people not to do it because it becomes a habit or something... but what do I know... I wouldn't be asking if i did! haha.

I seem to struggle with the balance of things, like in 2010, I had so much time to relax, but I hated my life, I honestly did wish it would end back then!, now that I'm working and at uni, I'm finding it very stressful... just can't seem to break even.. I know it'll get better when I'm done with uni and doing what I like not a side job to make up money while I get the degreee.

It should be a habit, our bodies are designed to dissipate streess, however it needs to be done. Just don't murder a bunch of people. ;p
#16 Posted by Diablo-B (4053 posts) -
Sounds like you need professional help. Admitting you have an issue and wanting to change is a good first step. I would strongly suggest either going to counseling and/or religion for help. Counseling is an obvious choice for dealing with issues like these but good ministers/churches have helped many with finding inner piece as well.
#17 Posted by _BlueDuck_ (11986 posts) -

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a psychologist in the past, but, now you're asking for help on a gaming forum, while specifically ignoring getting advise from trained professionals. If you can find a way on your own (and with support from friends and family or whatever), then that's fantastic. But if it's a serious thing that is holding you back and you don't know where to go otherwise, professional help will always be better than random strangers' advise.

#18 Posted by worlock77 (22547 posts) -

Boxing can be a good outlet for anger/stress. So I suggest finding the nearest police officer and punching him. He'll give you a good fight back and help dissipate that anger.

#19 Posted by gamah_killah (13020 posts) -
Start going out. You seem frustated when you're on your own. Find some good friends who can help ease the pain. As for the girl, just freaking talk to her. The worst she could do is reject you.
#20 Posted by super600 (31120 posts) -

I'm having a life issue to right now.

#21 Posted by dazzzilla (1246 posts) -

Well, I've tried to relax a bit and for a part of it it's worked, i've avoided some things that annoy me. However, the remainder is I am certain now coming from my frustrations of not being able to speak to this girl. I want to but I simply turn into the biggest pansy known to man and don't say a word. I don't know why, if anyone has some advice on how I can force myself to do this and get over it, it's even worse now because I suspect she knows I like her, yet I haven't said anything and feel even more nervous now about saying anything, saw the person last week, I wanted to avoid them, stupid as it sounds, I want to speak to her, but when I see her, I crumble. What's even worse is that I am not really a person who is worried about what people think of me 98% of the time, if someone is iritating me I will tell them, even if it offends them.

What makes it worse is that I usually run into her at places difficult to speak at such as disco's. 

But I need to finish this otherwise it will simply drive me mad and I'll be a bitter bastard for eternity at this rate.

 

Any help or motivation will do, what do I think when I get the urge to just run away from her? It's the strongest feeling I can possibly describe, and it seems impossible to force myself to approach her.

 

Thanks.

#22 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (17566 posts) -

If it snows where you live, take a nice long shower with cold water only.

#23 Posted by tenaka2 (17040 posts) -

Well, I've tried to relax a bit and for a part of it it's worked, i've avoided some things that annoy me. However, the remainder is I am certain now coming from my frustrations of not being able to speak to this girl. I want to but I simply turn into the biggest pansy known to man and don't say a word. I don't know why, if anyone has some advice on how I can force myself to do this and get over it, it's even worse now because I suspect she knows I like her, yet I haven't said anything and feel even more nervous now about saying anything, saw the person last week, I wanted to avoid them, stupid as it sounds, I want to speak to her, but when I see her, I crumble. What's even worse is that I am not really a person who is worried about what people think of me 98% of the time, if someone is iritating me I will tell them, even if it offends them.

What makes it worse is that I usually run into her at places difficult to speak at such as disco's. 

But I need to finish this otherwise it will simply drive me mad and I'll be a bitter bastard for eternity at this rate.

 

Any help or motivation will do, what do I think when I get the urge to just run away from her? It's the strongest feeling I can possibly describe, and it seems impossible to force myself to approach her.

 

Thanks.

dazzzilla

You can release all of this tension using only a sack of kittens and a vice.

#24 Posted by new_gamer244 (338 posts) -

got to a shrink...SSRI pills can really calm you down.

#25 Posted by BATTOSAI76 (4084 posts) -

Well, I've tried to relax a bit and for a part of it it's worked, i've avoided some things that annoy me. However, the remainder is I am certain now coming from my frustrations of not being able to speak to this girl. I want to but I simply turn into the biggest pansy known to man and don't say a word. I don't know why, if anyone has some advice on how I can force myself to do this and get over it, it's even worse now because I suspect she knows I like her, yet I haven't said anything and feel even more nervous now about saying anything, saw the person last week, I wanted to avoid them, stupid as it sounds, I want to speak to her, but when I see her, I crumble. What's even worse is that I am not really a person who is worried about what people think of me 98% of the time, if someone is iritating me I will tell them, even if it offends them.

What makes it worse is that I usually run into her at places difficult to speak at such as disco's

But I need to finish this otherwise it will simply drive me mad and I'll be a bitter bastard for eternity at this rate.

 

Any help or motivation will do, what do I think when I get the urge to just run away from her? It's the strongest feeling I can possibly describe, and it seems impossible to force myself to approach her.

 

Thanks.

dazzzilla

LOL_WUT.jpg.

#26 Posted by ghoklebutter (19327 posts) -
Just be gentle with yourself; if you find yourself angry and/or stressed, do something like taking a long, hot shower (don't rush), taking a nap, or venting to someone who understands you. Try not to bottle it up. Also, you may think that psychologists can't help you, but you really should keep looking for a good shrink. That will probably help you the most.
#27 Posted by ghoklebutter (19327 posts) -

Well, I've tried to relax a bit and for a part of it it's worked, i've avoided some things that annoy me. However, the remainder is I am certain now coming from my frustrations of not being able to speak to this girl. I want to but I simply turn into the biggest pansy known to man and don't say a word. I don't know why, if anyone has some advice on how I can force myself to do this and get over it, it's even worse now because I suspect she knows I like her, yet I haven't said anything and feel even more nervous now about saying anything, saw the person last week, I wanted to avoid them, stupid as it sounds, I want to speak to her, but when I see her, I crumble. What's even worse is that I am not really a person who is worried about what people think of me 98% of the time, if someone is iritating me I will tell them, even if it offends them.

What makes it worse is that I usually run into her at places difficult to speak at such as disco's. 

But I need to finish this otherwise it will simply drive me mad and I'll be a bitter bastard for eternity at this rate.

Any help or motivation will do, what do I think when I get the urge to just run away from her? It's the strongest feeling I can possibly describe, and it seems impossible to force myself to approach her.

Thanks.

dazzzilla


Dude, don't think of it in terms of "forcing" yourself to do things. Instead, just keep in mind that the only way you'll know if she likes you too is if you find out.  One way to reduce your anxiety greatly is to accept the fact that she may or may not like you in the way you hope for. Rejection sucks, but it's something most people these days have to deal with, and it's not the worst thing in the world. If she doesn't like you in the way you hope for, then go look for someone else. 

If that's not enough, then just try to get to know her by talking to her more. Don't give her the impression that you only want to be her friend, but don't come on too strong, either.

 

#28 Posted by signzoe (55 posts) -
I advise not hooking up with any woman all the the problems your having will just carry over into the relationship and it would go south...On the stress note it's typical seem like most of society is having that problem.
#29 Posted by koospetoors (3245 posts) -
The next time you see her, don't hesitate, don't think, just walk up to her and tell her "you know what? I like you, want to go eat\have a drink somewhere?" in a confident tone. If she accepts, cool! I hope you guys really end up being great for each other, if she rejects then tough luck, you at the very least know where you stand and can move on to the next one. Its pretty freaking hard I know, I also completely freeze up when it comes to confronting a girl I really like, but you absolutely must push through this because regardless of what happens, that feeling of relief you get afterwards can do a world's good to you. Hell if you absolutely must, get a good friend to force you through it.
#30 Posted by Explosive_Bagel (153 posts) -
Drink some Kool-Aid.
#31 Posted by Goyoshi12 (9687 posts) -

Get the @#$% off Off Topic.

Seriously, this place is a one way ticket to anger and stress street.

#32 Posted by bluedeathking (469 posts) -
:D I hear masterbating relieve a lot of stress LOL
#33 Posted by Hatiko (4612 posts) -

Sleep. I'm serious, the best thing is sleep, a good workout, and then great food afterwards.

#34 Posted by k2theswiss (16599 posts) -

1: If you work/school take a week off. (EVERYONE NEEDS ONE OF THESE)

2: Get out of house or whatever, Go to park and walk in the trails. Very peaceful and relaxing and talk to yo self. Even go geocatching so it give a incentive to go out. It's Treasure game that's run by the community around the world. You can use your smartphone or even a $50 gps. (Been doing it for few years.)

3: get  some insurance and get a counselor and don't be afraid to switch until you find you you like or it be no good. (used to go to one. Switched 4 different times found someone i liked and smooth sailing.)

Just my opinion

 

P.S i used to be a devil's child...

#35 Posted by k2theswiss (16599 posts) -

[QUOTE="dazzzilla"]

Well, I've tried to relax a bit and for a part of it it's worked, i've avoided some things that annoy me. However, the remainder is I am certain now coming from my frustrations of not being able to speak to this girl. I want to but I simply turn into the biggest pansy known to man and don't say a word. I don't know why, if anyone has some advice on how I can force myself to do this and get over it, it's even worse now because I suspect she knows I like her, yet I haven't said anything and feel even more nervous now about saying anything, saw the person last week, I wanted to avoid them, stupid as it sounds, I want to speak to her, but when I see her, I crumble. What's even worse is that I am not really a person who is worried about what people think of me 98% of the time, if someone is iritating me I will tell them, even if it offends them.

What makes it worse is that I usually run into her at places difficult to speak at such as disco's

But I need to finish this otherwise it will simply drive me mad and I'll be a bitter bastard for eternity at this rate.

 

Any help or motivation will do, what do I think when I get the urge to just run away from her? It's the strongest feeling I can possibly describe, and it seems impossible to force myself to approach her.

 

Thanks.

BATTOSAI76

LOL_WUT.jpg.

lol just catch that lol.
#36 Posted by whipassmt (14525 posts) -

I suggest the following recommendations (or I recommend the following suggestions):

1. Talk about it with someone you trust, a friend, relative, co-worker, some kind of mentor.

2. Maybe see a doctor in case (as another poster mentioned) it is anything physical.

3. Make sure to get adequate sleep.

4. Try to find something relaxing to do, whether it is taking a little stroll, cooking, sitting in a park or something like that.

#37 Posted by ShadowsDemon (9481 posts) -
Watch funny YouTube videos. Drove suicidal thoughts out of my head once.
#38 Posted by sukraj (23979 posts) -

Eat more chicken wing and potato chips .... that will help out ur stresshippiesanta

i love chicken wings:D