Devs - Excerpts from the hit broadway musicals

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#1 Edited by Lhomity (467 posts) -

What gamers think of devs: The Musical

Jeff: Well, we're running low on cocaine and all of our orgies are getting boring. This 'buying-a-new-private-jet instead of refueling the old one' is getting quite expensive too, so we need to come up with a solution.

Greg: Oh rise, oh dark lord Satan, and bestow us with your cunning.

(*Stage goes dark. White smoke and red light emerges from below stage. Scary music and sound effects*)

Satan:Furgle gurgle murzzle wizzle. Make them pay through the nose or threaten them with missiles.~

Jeff: I understand, lord. We shall charge $900 dollars for our next game, and require that players pay $5.99 to reload a clip, and all clips should have just 4 rounds of ammunition.

Greg: And when they wish to autosave, our new technology will draw blood from their veins. We shall then sell that blood.

Jeff: That is a terrific idea, Jeff. We'll be laughing all the way to the bank.

Greg: The blood bank!

(*music kicks in*)

SONG:

(All together)

We are the creeps, we are the thieves

We rob the chickens of their feed,

We are the demons of your dreams

(we steal your blood), we groom your teens

(*dancers enter left of stage*)

We're going to make a fortune, going to make a fortune

(Jeff) Your wallets will never be safe!

We're going to make a fortune, going to make a fortune,

(Greg) Your children will become our slaves!

(All together) We're making videoooo gaaaaaaaaaaamess!

===========================================

What it's actually like: The Musical

Jeff: We've got a great concept, and I think this will be a fantastic game. The publisher has agreed to invest $20 million and we'll be pushing for a simultaneous launch in most regions across multiple platforms.

Greg: Sounds exciting, Jeff. I can't wait to get to work on this, but we need to think about post-launch. Do we have any DLC plans?

Jeff: Sure do, Greg, we're assigning a group to handle DLC and they should have a few ideas in the coming weeks. We're hoping to offer interesting options for our players, and keep our game interesting in the long-term.

Greg: Great, so we'll have a DLC script together with our main script, for our voice talent when we can get them in, and we'll ensure our art and sound teams can get the necessary DLC assets in place in good time. It's going to be hectic for the next 2-3 years but it should be a fun ride.

Jeff: Yep, I think gamers are really going to enjoy this one. And if we put our minds to it, work hard, and we should see some solid returns, that will put us in good financial position to fund our future projects.

SONG:

(All together)

We're making a video game
We're making a video game
We're gonna make-make-make
The best game-game-game, than we can

(*Jeff and Greg tap-dance together*)

Extra1: Do you think we can?
Extra2: Oh, I think we can!
Extra3: Let's do our best, everybody!

(Jeff) We're making a video gaaaame
(Greg) And I hope that our audience will love it
(Jeff) We're gonna spend years of our lives on this
(Greg) We hope it makes a good amount of money

(All together)

Yeah, we're making a video game
We're making a video game,
And we'll be successful, (we'll be successful)
Our players will enjoy it (they're going to enjoy it!)
So lets get it maaaade (let's get it made!)
What about McShea? (Hope we don't get an 8!)
(Jeff) Oh, what the hey!

We're maaaaking (we're making)

We're maaaaking (we're making)

a viiiiiddeeeeoooo gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

(*transition to office set. Soft music*)

Greg: Hey Jeff, why are you so sad?

Jeff: This gamer on Twitter. He called me a-

Greg: (Interrupts) Don't say it, Jeff. I can see it in your tears.