GameSpotting is back, and if our knees weren't so bad, we'd chase you damn punks off our lawn. E3 2004 may seem like ancient history to you kids with your short attention spans and your Rocawear and your rap music videos, but we're still nursing our wounds from that orgiastic display of electronic entertainment excess. Aside from reflecting on The Show, we also consider our own mortality and we get emotional over our vast collection of broken arcade machines. So please, enjoy our wares, and if you'd like to put on airs like you're a GameSpot editor, try submitting your own GuestSpotting column.

Hall's Hollywood
Greg Kasavin/Executive Editor
"Bad games can hurt a good franchise, and reparations are necessary in such cases."

Where We're Going, You Don't Need Eyes to See
Jeff Gerstmann/Senior Editor
"Despite the fact that the monitor on the UMK3 machine isn't working, Brad and I have been having some rather heated matches."

The Big 3-0
Jason Ocampo/Associate Editor
"What is 30 supposed to feel like? They don't give you a manual about it, though I do expect my physician to give me the 'you-can't-eat-like-you're-18-anymore' speech soon."

...And then things got weird.
Alex Navarro/Associate Editor
"Foreign developers brought me the crazy at E3 2004 in spades, and I couldn't be happier."

Arcade of Broken Dreams
Brad Shoemaker/Associate Editor
"Boys and girls, there's nothing more pitiful in the world than an arcade machine that doesn't work."

Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles, Part One
Tor Thorsen/Associate Editor, News
"Gonzo dispatches from behind the scenes of the front lines of E3 2004."

What We Know
Andrew Park/Senior Editor
"Things that are bad in massively multiplayer games. Things that are good in massively multiplayer games."

Second-Handed Compliment
Todd Friscia/GuestSpotter
"If you don't support them, they're not going to be around for very long. They need to eat and pay their rent, too; it's as simple as that."

This One Time, at Computer Camp...
Melvin K. Poindexter/A Dork With a Story to Tell
Do you have some hilarious/poignant/touching story involving video games? Well stop being a selfish dork and share it with the world in this very forum! Read our GuestSpotting FAQ for details on submitting your own column.