News From the Future
Join us for a glimpse into the great and terrible future as we chronicle ten newsmaking gaming events yet to happen.
NEWS FROM THE FUTURE
It all started one dark and dreary evening.
We were working late, my companions and I. After a day of tireless toil and drudgery, we could only pause and seek recreation. But hours upon hours of covering video games had left us numb to the enchantments at hand, so we put our knowledge of the powers of science to work and began to forge a master gaming device--one that would supplant all others and fulfill our gaming needs entire. After many hours of labor, it was finished. The hideous gestalt had the body of an Xbox, the keyboard of a Commodore 64, and a controller wrought from the unholy union of an N-Gage and a Game Boy Advance.
When we plugged in that product of our own horrible industry, something happened that no one predicted. The lights went out; a sulfurous smell filled the air; and with a hum as if from the bowels of the earth, the whole contraption began to levitate before us--suspended by nothing and illuminated by its own ghastly light! My companions let out a startled howl and fled the room into the night. I do not know of their fates.
But I alone did not run. I was transfixed. In the eldritch glow I looked into that screen, and I saw myself, only somehow it was not me. I had...I had aged! I was looking at myself from some distant point in the future! Lo, how great and terrible the wonders of the universe!
As I looked into the sunken, withered face of my future self, I began to perceive words. Indeed, I was no longer seeing myself. Instead, I caught glimpses of events that had not yet occurred. I was compelled, as if my body and mind were no longer my own, to record these stories for the world to see. Now, dear reader, I must present to you the chronicle of that terrible evening. This knowledge must not remain mine alone. Take from me and do with it what you will. Do whatever with this... this news from the future!
03/15/04: Madden for Sale »
04/18/04: Tandy Reborn »
05/11/04: GameCube Goes Massive »
07/20/04: Time-Travelin' Gabe »
09/16/04: The King of All Fighters »
10/02/04: 3D Realms Nuked »
10/18/04: Final Fantasy's Baffling »
11/14/04: PC Gaming: Six Feet Under »
09/24/05: The Sims Get Simmed »
07/06/13: N-Gage Graveyard »
Terrell Owens places Jeff Garcia on Madden 2005 cover
Free agent receiver attempts to put hex on estranged former teammate.
Superstitious football fans have long believed that any player featured on the cover of Electronic Arts' wildly popular "Madden" football games is doomed to suffer from a sort of jinx. Debilitating injuries sustained by past cover models Daunte Culpepper, Marshall Faulk, and Michael Vick have bolstered the theory. Sensing yet another potential revenue stream, enterprising Electronic Arts executives recently put the cover position for Madden NFL 2005 up for sale.
EA had hoped to benefit financially from players or general managers who were looking to put a key competitor on the disabled list. What they didn't expect was to get involved in the ongoing feud between free agent wide receiver Terrell Owens and San Francisco 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia. "When we came up with the idea, we were expecting [Washington Redskins owner] Daniel Snyder to jump all over it," said EA president, John Riccitiello. "I mean, he's already wasted a small fortune. It seemed logical that he'd pay us some of that money to put [Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan] McNabb out of commission. We never anticipated TO's interest."
Owens paid an undisclosed amount to EA for the rights to put Garcia on the cover, further chilling the relationship between the former teammates. Matters between the two players were already strained to the breaking point earlier this year when some revealing comments by Owens were posted on his official Web site: "I'M WILLING 2 WORKOUT A CONTRACT IF THE NINERS CN GET A QB 2 MATCH MY SKILLS AS A RECEIVER! HOW ABOUT HIS DUI SITUATION? EVERYBODY WANTS 2 CRITICIZE ME 4 THIS & THAT, BUT HV I REPRESENTED THE 49ERS N THT FASHION, NOPE-I DN'T THINK SO!"
Owens declined to speak with GameSpot on the matter.
When reached at his home for comment, Garcia responded "It's like Gary Payton said. 'I didn't sign up for this s***.'"
Tandy to reenter consumer market with new console hardware
Radio Shack revives aged home computer label, reveals spokesman, launches lineup.
Despite its absence from the interactive entertainment business since the mid-'80s, Radio Shack has announced today that it will be reviving the classic Tandy Computer name and throwing its hat in the already cutthroat console hardware ring. Very little is known about the actual hardware, which the press release refers to as the "TRS-8000." The press release did, however, reveal that Radio Shack had further leveraged its existing contract with actor Ving Rhames, who would act as the spokesman for the burgeoning platform. Additionally, other celebrities associated with Radio Shack advertising had agreed to provide their likenesses for several upcoming titles.
Though no US third-party publishers have made any commitments to the platform as of press time, Japanese publisher Banpresto has given the TRS-8000 a wholehearted endorsement by claiming that a half-dozen titles are already in production and are set to debut at this year's Tokyo Game Show Fall 2004. Radio Shack isn't planning to depend on outside sources for its software and already has a surprisingly deep lineup of first-party launch titles, on which it provided some brief details in its press materials.
HyperAntiquing 2005 Starring Ving Rhames
There's only one thing Tandy spokesman and international superstar Ving Rhames loves more than Tandy Computers, and that's antiques! Learn the true value of English Victorian brass candelabras, Jacobean sideboards, and friendship in this exciting new stealth action game!
JoeyVision
Joey is a seven-year-old boy trapped in a gorilla's body! Spend time with Joey as he learns about the world around him in this exciting new ActionQuest edutainment title!
Dog vs. Monkey
Pit the world's toughest creatures against each other in this exciting new fighting simulator!
Howie Long's Pro Box Breaker-Downer
Break down the cardboard boxes before they stack up and crush Radio Shack spokesman and star of Broken Arrow, Howie Long, in this exciting new puzzle game!
Shaquille O'Neal's Cyberdungeonworld
Put on your chainmail and grab your sword 'cus the world's most famous basketball player needs your help! Take on rats, dogs, and rats crossed with dogs in this exciting new role-playing adventure!
Zackman 2000
The classic Tandy hero Zackman is back with an all-new adventure for the year 2000! Team up with Zackman to take on the evil ninja pirate ghosts in this exciting new maze simulator!
Bum Tumble 2005
Back alley gymnastics has never been this much fun! From the developers of Bum Rumble!
Viktor Viking: Pirate Killer
Viktor Viking has come to kick ass and chew Valhalla, and he's all outta Valhalla! Stab the evil pirate king with a rusty screwdriver in this exciting new rhythm game from Tandy!
Bike
Xtreme sports never felt so xtreme! Ride a seatless bike through the world's most dangerous snowboard courses in this stellar new action sports extreme crossover title!
Spanger
Take on the role of a suburban kid down on his luck in this riveting new stylish hard action game from Tandy! Can you hit up the yuppies for spare change before your opponent? Take it online, and find out!
SuperChess World
The world's first massively multiplayer chess simulator is coming at you in full 3D next summer! And you thought two-player chess was hard!!
Vanessa Williams' Pro Russian Roulette
Another entry in Tandy's exciting "Pro" series, Russian Roulette is sure to redefine the survival horror genre! Revolver controller sold separately.
Baited Breath
Experience the trials and tribulations of a salmon during spawning season in this spellbinding new dating simulation! Romance has never been like this!
Radio Shack has stated that more details will be available at its Tandy Web presence, which it intends to launch within the coming weeks. The company plans to debut the TRS-8000 hardware at this year's E3. We'll have more information on this development as it becomes available.
E3 2004: Square Enix announces GameCube MMRPG
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles II to include GBA hub allowing 10,000 players to carry large buckets cooperatively.
LOS ANGELES--At its pre-E3 press conference held in the Westin Bonaventure hotel in Los Angeles today, Square Enix shocked the assembled crowd of industry journalists and officials with its announcement of Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles II, the sequel to its multimillion-selling action RPG for the GameCube. Released in February, Crystal Chronicles immediately rocketed to the top of the GameCube, Xbox, and PS2 charts, smashing all previous sales records in every category. Now Square Enix hopes to capitalize on the new franchise's success with a massively multiplayer offline sequel that will allow a staggering 10,000 players to participate in the game by using a single GameCube.
During the press conference, Square Enix representatives were joined by a Nintendo product team who demoed the StarPort, the Game Boy Advance hub that will connect up to 10,000 players to the game, each of whom must use a Game Boy Advance and the new 100-foot GBA link cable. Crystal Chronicles II is set in a world where enormous magical buckets must be transported around by many players simultaneously in order for the group to survive. The game will include innovative teamplay features that require dozens of players to move in concert to balance these buckets without spilling their contents.
When asked about the viability of so many players taking part in a game that uses a single system and television, NCL president Satoru Iwata answered, "It's fun to play together," clearly taking a jab at a recent Xbox Live advertising campaign. Nervous aides were quick to follow up this statement with information on Crystal Chronicles II parties that are being planned nationwide at drive-in movie theaters. Rumors of a satellite network that would create a massive orbital screen for entire continents to take part in the game unfortunately went unanswered.
Gabe Newell back in time
Half-Life 2 on hold; Valve to focus efforts on new space-time continuum project.
Though the security breach that led to the leaking of the Half-Life 2 source code was a rather dramatic turn of events, Valve has further shocked the gaming world with surprising news about its eagerly anticipated sequel. A mere two weeks before the scheduled release of Half-Life 2, Gabe Newell, Valve's founder and managing director, announced that Half-Life 2 would be put on hold indefinitely and that all of Valve's resources would be diverted to a new project, code-named Spigot.
The purpose of Spigot? To travel back in time.
"After missing our original September 30th release date and then being forced to reassess a large portion of the [Half-Life 2] source code after our network was compromised, the headspace here at Valve wasn't where it needed to be. There were too many distractions, and we felt that much of the goodwill gamers inherently have toward [Half-Life] had been needlessly wasted," said Newell in a press conference held at the Valve Software offices in Kirkland, Washington. "It seemed that the only way for us to deliver the experience we set out to deliver would be to erase the problematic events from the very fabric of time." At this point in the press conference, Newell turned to a PC that was set up next to his podium. After a loud crack was heard and the smell of ozone filled the room, a large blue vortex began forming behind him. "And so, gentlemen, we are going back in time," said Valve's founder.
Newell went on to explain that the Valve Time Displacement Vortex, the project's final name, was still very early in development. He added that though his team had run a successful series of tests with inanimate objects, they still had a long road ahead of them. "We've discovered that there's a pretty massive difference between the way a brick and, say, a Welsh Corgi react to the stresses of time travel. But once we're able to keep these pups from turning inside out, I'm confident that we'll start making much more rapid progress."
Though he was unwilling to give specific details about the technology behind Spigot, Gabe Newell gave a basic outline of the plan. On a Terminator-esque mission, Newell will launch himself into the past to give himself an early warning of the events that have hindered the development of Half-Life 2 thus far. Neither Newell nor Vivendi Universal was willing to comment on the potential ramifications of Past Newell coming into contact with Future Newell, though VU Games' Christophe Ramboz did speak with confidence about the project. "Valve has proven itself to be an innovative leader in the realm of electronic entertainment, and we feel its transition over to the manipulation of the space-time continuum will be a seamless one. We have yet to establish what exactly Spigot will mean to the consumer, beyond the timely delivery of Half-Life 2, but rest assured, we have some very exciting ideas."
Certain members of the theoretical physics community have stepped up to point out that if Spigot was actually going to work, Half-Life 2 would be out already. Doug Lombardi, Valve's director of marketing, responded by saying, "Time just doesn't work that way." With the launch date for Spigot currently scheduled for Q2 2005, we should know soon enough if Valve will be able to make good on its claims. Stay tuned to GameSpot news, and we'll have more details after, before, or whenever they become available.
Sega, Sammy, SNK, Capcom form strategic alliance
Newly formed "SSSNKC Group" to develop most comprehensive fighting game roster to date.
TOKYO--Today, Japanese game publishers Sega, Sammy, SNK-Playmore, and Capcom announced a strategic partnership that will yield at least one cross-licensed arcade fighting game, which is already in development and slated for release in late 2005. This new conglomerate, branded the "SSSNKC Group," (pronounced "Sync Group"), is putting its heads together to come up with a fighting game whose cast of characters is larger and more diverse than that of any other fighting game. "Every popular character and every popular type of character will be represented," said a spokeswoman for SNK Playmore. "In some cases, there will be four or five nearly identical characters from a single category. We are very excited."
The SSSNKC Group is developing the character roster for its yet unnamed fighting game project by using a scientific method that involves the complex psychological screening of a focus group that includes more than 3,000 game players from around the world. Developers from Sammy have funded the initial research into this project, which has already informed the character designs found in its popular Guilty Gear X series of games. "By carefully evaluating and recording our audience's insecurities and most private fantasies, we have been able to produce unique fighting game characters that really resonate with our fans," Sammy's head of research told GameSpot. "In fact, even the names of our characters have been generated by our machines."
The cast of characters in the SSSNKC Group's first foray into fighting games will consist of more than 350 different fighters and slight variations on these fighters. Fans can expect to see all of their longtime favorites, including Capcom Street Fighter series' mainstays like Ryu, Ken, and Chun Li; SNK's popular favorites Iori Yagami and Rimururu; the entire cast of Sammy's Guilty Gear XX #Reload; and maybe even a few old favorites from Sega's fighting game classic for the Genesis, Eternal Champions. "It is an exciting opportunity for us to revisit some of our old properties in this project," stated Sega's marketing director, who chose not to reveal her name. "We felt it was an appropriate time to introduce a new generation of gamers to some characters that most people have forgotten about."
What's perhaps most interesting about this forthcoming game is that it will be the gaming equivalent of a mixed media project. Merging the technology and artistry of the respective companies contributing to it, SSSNKC Group's fighting game will feature both 2D and 3D characters and artwork, thus representing more than a decade's worth of technological difference in some cases. "This is our chance to show the world that our art is truly timeless," added a brand manager from Capcom who chose to remain anonymous. "When our fans see their favorite characters from [1994's] Dark Stalkers in the upcoming game, there will be no mistaking them." We'll bring you more on this promising game as we hear it.
3D Realms nuked
Hackers searching for the source code of the elusive Duke Nukem Forever uncover unexpected surprise.
DALLAS--On the one-year anniversary of the now-infamous Half-Life 2 source code leak, another bombshell hack of a major PC developer has been confirmed. Earlier today, GameSpot received confirmation from Take-Two Games that 3D Realms' network had been compromised two weeks ago by individuals who were looking for the source code to Duke Nukem Forever, the company's oft-delayed shooter sequel. Take-Two refused to comment on what, if anything, was actually taken by the hackers. However, numerous sources are stating that instead of discovering the coveted source code, they discovered something far more interesting.
The initial reports of the hack pointed to a blog entry by someone who used the handle NeoNukem83. The user's blog went on in great detail about how he and his associates had broken into the 3D Realms network and then discovered the directory that supposedly housed the source code. "Once we were in, it only took a couple of minutes of digging to figure out where the supposed source was kept," stated the entry, "but I'm telling all of you right now, there was no source code. None. As far as we could tell, Duke Nukem Forever does not actually exist."
Neither Take-Two nor 3D Realms would officially confirm or deny the validity of the hacker's story, stating only that they were each investigating how the leak occurred and what exactly was taken. However, 3D Realms president George Broussard, famous for his off-the-cuff remarks in various Internet forums, commented through his shacknews.com forum account by blasting the hacker's claims. "How ****ing stupid is this ****?" Broussard stated in one post from a week ago. "We've been working on this thing for seven ****ing years, and this kid has the stones to say that it's all bull****? Look, the reality of the situation is, Duke Nukem Forever is still in development and will be released when it's done. Max Payne took four years to develop, you know. Everybody will be quiet when they finally see what we have here. People need to just STFU, and stay out of our business."
However, the hacker had more than a story to back up his claims. On the site, he posted several screenshots of what appeared to be a file tree on 3D Realms' network. The shots show a folder marked "dnforeversrc," which appeared to contain a lengthy list of lewdly titled .avi and MPEG files, as well as a series of .wav files with titles like "BCBoomstick.wav" and "hail2thekingbaby.wav." "We searched that network high and low, and all we found was a scattered collection of Bruce Campbell sound files and tons and tons of porn," the blog entry went on to say. "I mean tons of it. More porn than I have ever seen in my lifetime."
"Oh, and one last thing," the hacker added. "In case any of you were wondering, we tried to compile the files we downloaded, but the game didn't work. We'll keep trying."
No word has come yet as to whether any of these events will affect Duke Nukem Forever's recently projected 2017 release date.
Midwestern man declares: "Final Fantasy makes no sense"
A telling interview with an average American citizen brings surprising new developments to light.
MINNEAPOLIS--Postal worker Dwight Mitchell is a lot like most Americans these days. He wakes up early, and on his way to work, he occasionally checks his e-mail on his cellular phone. His phone, thanks to the advent of wireless Internet, allows him to browse Web sites (like GameSpot) on the go. But browsing one page on GameSpot causes the 31-year-old mail carrier to furrow his ample brow in puzzlement. He is, surprisingly enough, looking at the latest Final Fantasy game.
"I don't get it. I mean, I play other video games, so I know they're supposed to be, like, the heroes who save the world or whatever," says the Minneapolis native of the game's cast of characters. "But what's up with those crazy haircuts and costumes?"
In what is perhaps a sign of the times, Mitchell is part of a growing segment of game fans who "don't get" the Final Fantasy series' garishly attired characters, who wear their hair in bizarre, angular coifs and are prone to fits of sulking. For whatever reason, the storylines behind the long-running role-playing series--which have involved time travel, pop stars, and large, chickenlike birds--seem unusual, even odd, to some. Analysts suggest that the rise of technology and the proliferation of information on the Internet might be to blame.
"Yeah, I use the Internet sometimes," Mitchell concedes. "OK, I actually use it a lot. But come on. Even though they got these 'fansites' on the Web now--and I went to one, and I tried reading some FAQs on Final Fantasy that some guy wrote--it's still like, 'what?'"
"Those games are just weird," Mitchell adds, shaking his head. He turns and heads off to work.
PC games declared dead
It is our sad duty at GameSpot to reveal that yes, the discussion by analysts and would-be analysts on Internet message boards is all true--PC gaming is dead.
SEATTLE--You may have heard analysts say it. You may have read postings about it on Internet message boards. Now the number of scattered industry reports and exclamation point-filled message board posts has reached a critical mass. PC games are dead.
An impromptu survey held earlier confirms this statement. An informal call to our local Electronics Boutique (now known simply as "EB") store prompted the clerk to answer, "Welcome to EB. We are sold out of Half-Life 2 and Doom 3. Can I help you?" When asked for clarification, the clerk replied, "Please, please try to understand. We're completely sold out of Half-Life 2 and Doom 3. No more copies. None." When pressed, the clerk replied, "Listen, I can't help it if you didn't preorder. But unless you preordered, like the zillions of other people who did, I can't get you copies." The obviously shaken clerk then hung up, perhaps too distraught to continue the conversation.
Games played on computers have a long and storied history that goes back from modern PCs to the Amiga, to the Commodore 64, to the Apple II, and even further back. Fans of PC gaming still look back fondly on such games as Blizzard's real-time strategy game Warcraft III, which reportedly became the fastest-selling PC game ever by moving a million units in less than a month. Thousands of players still play the game daily on Blizzard's Battle.net online service, which suggests that we at GameSpot are not alone in our wistful remembrance. And perhaps as a token of nostalgia, Blizzard released the 3.92b patch today, which reportedly "perfectly balances all four races." The patch was released as an update to last week's 3.92 patch, which introduced numerous balancing tweaks and four new units to each playable side.
The same can be said of other PC games of yesteryear, such as Maxis' The Sims. Said one analyst, "It seems like only a few days ago that The Sims and its three most recent expansion packs were topping the best-seller list again." [Editor's Note: As we reported a few days ago, The Sims and its three most recent expansion packs have topped the best-seller list again.]
It was with heavy hearts that we plodded down to our own local EB store as something of a ceremonial farewell to PC games. We took comfort in the fact that many, many other PC game fans had already arrived at the store, perhaps to share in our last rites. The overall mood of the onlookers seemed bravely positive. Apparently many other software stores around the world were hosting similar gatherings, where bereaved PC game fans were lined up at the cash register. Some lines, in fact, were so long that they continued out the store door, into the street, and around the corner. Said one of the mourners, "Can you believe Half-Life 2 and Doom 3 came out on the same day? This is so awesome!" Another let out a cackle that might almost have been gleeful and replied, "Dude, me and all my friends upgraded our PCs for just this day. Like, I told all my friends to go shopping online and put together these supercheap, high-end custom rigs so we could all play multiplayer, right? And now we all have totally killer setups for only a couple hundred bucks! Looks like we're calling in sick to work...for the rest of the week!" Then, for whatever reason, the two onlookers exchanged high fives--no doubt so beside themselves with grief that they were unable to come up with proper expressions for their emotions.
EA to release The Sims: Playin' Sims
New expansion pack lets players' sims engage in hours of deskbound simulation gaming; preorders already top 4 million.
Following the fourth delay of the much-awaited The Sims 2 (now due in Q2 2006), Electronic Arts and Maxis announced they are releasing another expansion pack for its best-selling predecessor The Sims. The Sims: Playin' Sims is the fourth expansion issued since The Sims 2 was first delayed in January 2004, following The Sims: Mowin' Lawns, The Sims: Doin' Taxes, and The Sims: Retirement Home. It is rated "T" for Teen and will retail for $39.99.
While previous expansion packs let players' sims travel outside, go on dates, adopt pets, become rock stars, and cast magic spells, The Sims: Playin' Sims will let them engage in the exciting pastime of simulation gaming. The expansion pack will allow sims to purchase copies of "The Virts," a life-simulation game that they can play on their home computers. While playing The Virts, individual sims' happiness will increase at a much faster rate than normal, and they will not suffer from loneliness or hunger, despite spending hours and hours indoors with no contact from other sims. However, sims who play The Virts too much are more likely to miss work and see their relationships wither and die. Also, the positive benefits of playing The Virts decrease over time. To regain the initial benefits, sims will have to regularly return to the computer store to buy Virts expansion packs, often dealing with unhelpful employees and inventory shortages. The game will also feature several new additions to the gibberish "simlish" language, including a new frustration expression caused by game bugs.
While some industry insiders have questioned the viability of simulation-within-simulation games, EA CEO Larry Probst is confident that fans will take to the series' latest expansion pack. "We tried to think of what real-life activities Sims players enjoyed the most and tried to build a title around that," said Probst in a press release. "The Sims: Playin' Sims was a logical progression because it adds a whole new level of excitement to this amazing series." The market seems to have borne out Probst's optimism, since preorders for The Sims: Playin' Sims have already topped 4 million. Sims creator Will Wright, last seen boarding a flight to Zurich with two hockey bags stuffed with cash, could not be reached for comment as of press time.
N-Gage remains uncovered in Nevada
Archaeologist searching for ancient artifacts in the Nevada Desert uncovers game deck landfill site.
PIOCHE, Nev.--When British archaeologist Dr. Leonard Raymont took his family to the Echo Canyon State Park in eastern Nevada for a well-deserved vacation earlier this month, his itinerary for the week included exploring nature trails, fishing, hiking, and enjoying a little digging. Raymont had planned to spend a couple of his days at Echo Canyon looking for Shoshone artifacts and petroglyphs, but after just a few hours of digging, he stumbled across something quite different.
"When I caught my first glimpse of what I now know to be one of around 100,000 N-Gage game decks buried here sometime between 2004 and 2006, I was convinced that I'd stumbled across something of alien origin," said Raymont. "I'd never even heard of an N-Gage. The things were so unwieldy that I couldn't believe it when my eldest son, whose hobby is collecting old and obscure computer games and systems, told me what it was."
Nokia, now one of Europe's most successful playing card manufacturers, released the N-Gage game deck in 2003 as competition for Nintendo's Game Boy Advance handheld games system. The N-Gage was marketed as a games system that was also a mobile phone, but since it performed neither of these functions particularly well, it failed to make many friends and was effectively consigned to the history books even before Sony's PSP arrived and changed the handheld market forever.
It has not yet been confirmed as to whether or not the N-Gage landfill in Nevada was sanctioned by the local authorities or if the game decks were buried by Nokia or a national retailer whose buyers put a little too much faith in the ill-fated gadget. Some 10 years after the N-Gage's release, Nokia was unavailable for comment at the time of this writing.
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