Brad Shoemaker Associate Editor

Now Playing: Final Fantasy X-2, Metal Arms: Glitch in the System, Sword of Mana Forgotten the Existence of: Half-Life 2, Doom 3

Just Desserts

If I can't eat it, I might as well play it.

Does it ever seem like they're making games based on just about anything these days? It does to me. When I started playing video games in the early '80s and for years afterward, there were just a few things you'd do, or even want to do, in a game--shoot things, jump onto platforms, shoot things, drive a car, fly a spaceship, and, oh yes, shoot things. But nowadays there are game genres popping up that take all kinds of real-world stuff into consideration. Just a few years ago, I sure didn't expect to ever see a video game that used a toy guitar as a controller or that let you play as a mosquito with the very appropriate objectives of sucking blood and avoiding a terminal swatting. Amazingly, these very things are now available for our gaming pleasure. Who'd a thunk it?

That's all well and good, but I feel like certain real-world experiences are being neglected by the gaming community. Actually, there's just one I have in mind: food. When is someone going to step up to the plate and create that most magical piece of entertainment that marries two of my greatest interests, gaming and eating? I put this question to the development community at large with all sincerity: When are you going to make a game based on food?

This is definitely not how I want a food game to turn out.

Please don't misunderstand--I'm not looking for games in existing genres with some food-related motif tacked on. Don't give me a shooter where I'm flying a carrot and firing salad dressing at waves of evil rhubarbs and beets, nor any kind of adventure or fighting game with fighting fried chickens or something dumb like that. Definitely no food RPGs--it's already been done. Simply taking existing gameplay concepts and mapping food onto them just ain't gonna cut it, thanks. What I've got in mind is much more ambitious and, dare I say it, delicious.

In the same way that PaRappa the Rapper came out of nowhere and totally defined the rhythm action genre, I think it would only take one good food game to make my dreams real. Though I haven't thought this out yet, I know that the seminal food action game should somehow focus on a cooking mechanic. Surely the same crazy imaginations that came up with a game like PaRappa would have little trouble finding a way to make cooking work in game form. I envision an interface that gives you access to an oven and stove, as well as an array of knives and other implements like a blender and grater. You could even compete against AI chefs to make the tastiest dish, Iron Chef-style. I'm sure there are a hundred entertaining minigames that could be made out of food preparation. The linchpin of the whole game would be the way you could process and combine basic ingredients to make a meal. Maybe you'd take random ingredients and come up with your own delicious dish in some kind of freestyle mode? Problems with this whole idea: First, I'm no game designer, and I haven't worked out any of the specifics. Second, you're only playing the game, not eating it; what to do when you win and you're still hungry?

These guys need to branch out.

I know there was an Iron Chef game released for the Saturn in Japan a long time back, although apparently it's just a basic tour of Kitchen Stadium--no weird cooking game mechanics involved. But once the food genre has been established, the door is open for all kinds of tasty possibilities. Why not a game based on In-N-Out, home of the greatest fast-food hamburger ever conceived? I bet there are all sorts of game ideas hiding in pizza alone. Whatever the great connoisseurs of gaming and eating come up with (if they ever do come up with anything), I'll have my bib at the ready. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take my pants out a couple of sizes to prepare for Thanksgiving.