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User Rating: 10 | Conker's Bad Fur Day N64
For some a title like this could be considered blasphemy, especially since all Rare titles are in contention so we will probably not get Goldeneye, either. While I wish we could have them both again this is, in my opinion, the bigger loss. Conker's is dirty. And I don't mean that in a "Tee-hee, they showed a booby and said a bad word" way that we often see when game designers seem to throw in extraneous content just to get an M rating. It's dirty in ways that people who have never played the title can't possibly comprehend. Part of what makes it a fantastic game is that somehow the geniuses who created it never resorted to cheap tricks to work the humor in. Every foul joke and unbelievably tasteless scenario fits perfectly into the plot, nothing sticks out as unnecessary or slapped on. The battle with Sloprano is simultaneously hilarious, brilliant, nausea-inducing, and tough. How many games can pull that off? The pop culture references fit in the same way as the off-color humor: Each gag fits in so seamlessly with the stories that even a person who didn't "get" the inside joke wouldn't realize that they were missing something. The gameplay itself is remarkably simple and intuitive, but the game always remains challenging. Conker's movements are very basic, really just running and jumping, so the challenges outside of the occasional long or high jump are more puzzle-based. Assisting the player with the puzzles are the B pads, which Rare dubbed "Context Sensitive". As in, what happens when you stand on the pad and press "B" is dependent upon where you are and what you are doing. Sometimes it's as simple as a machine gun turret to blast away swarms of approaching enemies, other times it's a pocket watch Conker uses to hypnotize a rampaging beast. Context sensitive, get it? The point is you never get the same thing twice and you always get what you need to get out of the situation. Simple but brilliant. The graphics are still beautiful today all things considered. I read a long time ago that Miyamoto was proud of Mario 64 because it was the closest he had gotten (at that time) to realizing his dream of immersing the player in a cartoon. Conker's delivers that result much, much better. Every environment is perfectly detailed and amplifies the mood the game is pushing at that moment. The main area that the player uses to reach all of the sub-quests is bright, cheerful and almost Disney-esque in its presentation. The graveyard and castle are legitimately scary. And the War stage, which I won't spoil with too much detail, is so incredibly immersive that it can provide an adrenaline rush when rounding a corner. The sounds in the game also fit perfectly into whatever story you are currently playing. Most impressive are the voices. Rare cast this game perfectly, utilizing character voices that convey humor and authenticity simultaneously. The musical score is also impressively varied but so conducive to the atmosphere that you can almost forget it's there. My greatest fear when it comes to this game is that it will eventually get lost in the sands of time. I still have my old N64, but how many people still do? And for those that do, how many still actively play? Even if Rare and Nintendo resolve their issues and old Rare titles are available on the VC, I doubt Nintendo would ever allow this one for sale. They were never really happy with this title to begin with, given their aversion at the time to M-rated games on the 64, and I think their dedication to maintaining an image as a family-friendly company will not allow this on the VC where it could be downloaded by kiddies without mom and dad knowing about it. We did get the watered-down X-Box update, but it really isn't the same. The game works exactly as it was originally made, and the tampering done on the re-release took the soul right out of it. I implore you, if you ever have the chance to play this game (and if you're over 17) you absolutely have to. Pick up a 64 at a garage sale or at the flea market and find a copy of Conker's. It is still easily one of the top 5 games ever produced and it will unfortunately probably never see the light of day again. The effort you will probably have to go to in order to find it will be well worth it in the end. Reader's Ratings for Conker's Bad Fur Day

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