Red Alert 3 continues the series' penchant for throwing lots of different elements into a blender and making them work.
The Red Alert series has always been the crazy younger sister of Command & Conquer. Trained dolphins, time travel, giant tesla coils, invulnerability spheres...and that was just in the FIRST game. Since then the entire timeline has gotten crazier and crazier, and if Red Alert 3 had not held to that tradition I would have been disappointed. The people who claim that Red Alert should provide a "realistic military experience" obviously have NEVER played Red Alert.
So let's talk about what the game does right.
First, the co-commander. This is a brilliant idea, for three reasons. First, cooperative play in the campaign is an absolute winner. Second, if this is your first RTS, your co-commander gives the enemy someone else to shoot at while you're figuring out what you're doing. And third, the AI co-commanders give the game some real character - especially when you're allying with them on one mission and fighting against them the next.
Second, the three sides. All three play differently (they all even build their buildings differently) but they are all fun. The Russians are all about brute force. The Allies don't excel at anything but can use combined attacks and special units to turn the tide. The Empire's units are incredibly versatile and mobile but must take care not to get caught in the wrong form or they are easily destroyed.
Third, the graphics. I know eye candy does not a game make, but man this game is pretty. Especially the water; it's got some of the best-looking water I've ever seen in a game, and I love how naval units bounce around like they're toys in a bathtub.
Fourth, the missions. I kept expecting to hit a dreary, bog-standard "build your base/crush enemy base" mission as I played through the game and was happy to be disappointed. Every mission, it seemed, threw some kind of curve ball at me - and given the series' history, some of them were absolutely crazy. I don't want to spoil too much but when the giant heads on Easter Island open up to reveal missile launchers you know you're playing a Red Alert game.
Finally, the cutscenes. Yes, dangit, the cutscenes! Red Alert 3 has a great cast and everybody was into it. They understood that the scenery here was meant to be eaten. Johnathan Pryce, J.K. Simmons, Tim Curry and George Takei all did excellent jobs.
As for the T&A...what T&A? There was absolutely no nudity in this game whatsoever. You can see worse in the checkout line in your local supermarket! In my opinion, Ivana Milicevic, Gemma Atkinson and Kelly Hu did good jobs ACTING in their roles. The only actor I didn't like was Jenny McCarthy as Tanya.
This game is the equivalent of a summer blockbuster - loud, fun and pretty to look at. It refuses to take itself seriously; I'm not sure why so many reviewers are unable to do the same.