Instead of actually doing the shooting, you get to be the guy who cleans up afterward! Yay...

User Rating: 1.7 | Combat Medic: Special Ops PC
Very few games can claim to be bad in all areas, but Combat Medic is one of them. Some universally bad games like Big Rigs at least showed a somewhat interesting premise (even if they don't live up to it at all), but Combat Medic is bad even in premise. While there are battles going on, you get to go treat injured soldiers. Which is more boring than it sounds.

Hell, they even managed to mislead the gaming public with the subtitle on the box: “Combat Medic: No man is left behind.” That makes the game sound like an epic tale of courage until you realize the entire purpose of the game is actually to go back and take care of soldiers who have already been left behind. I guess they figured that subtitle would sound a little more heroic than “Combat Medic: We left you behind! I don’t know what we were thinking when we did that! Ha ha! Oops!”

First off, Combat Medic looks and sounds terrible. In between experimenting with ways to abuse medical equipment, you're drifting along a sea of badly-textured, ugly mud with blocky soldiers that like to roll around and babble incoherently. Sometimes when you check on them, they either wonder what's going on or make some indistinguishable sound.

But the gameplay is even more brainless. Your chosen medic transforms into a tiny little toy soldier-thing wandering around a terrible looking map. Your job is to search out injured soldiers marked by yellow squares, which helps people that somehow don't know that the soldiers in need of treatment would be on the ground rather than running and shouting. Once you find them, you get to a closeup view of the soldier, which looks so bad you'll prefer the camera on top of Mount Everest. The terrible controls and interface (seriously, it seems like each body part has one magic pixel that actually registers the action you chose, while the rest ignores it) will quickly make you hate this game and everything to do with it. Now, if you're like me, you'll probably do things that would get your ass fired, like stabbing or prodding people with medical equipment until the soldiers die. Eventually I found the magic pixel for each body part, but by then I hated everything.

Of course, you have to watch out for enemies. But rather than gunning you down, they'll try their hardest to not see you, until you actually start treating somebody. Then again it isn't too hard to take care of them, unless you aren't badass enough to come within two miles of somebody and click on them.

Combat Medic is embarassingly bad in all areas. It's one of those games I got because it looked bad, and I wanted to see just how bad it could possibly be. And it's worse than I expected in every way.