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Call of Duty: Black Ops II User Review

INDAMOUF

As in it grows on you like a tumor.

  • Posted Dec 29, 2012 6:33 am GMT
  • Recommended by 2 of 5 users.
Difficulty:
Very Easy
Time Spent:
10 to 20 Hours
The Bottom Line:
"Grows on you"
Ok, my original intention was to rant on how bad this was, but instead, I feel that there are some unaddressed issues that need attending to.

Cons:

First, I'm a strong proponent of the campaigns of these CoD games, but this "plot" was by far the worst in CoD history. The whole game can basically be categorized as a "choose your adventure" story line with "press 'A' or 'X' here" situations. When you're being held at gunpoint by that terrorist who's making you kill Harper, your options are A) shoot and kill Harper or B) attempt to shoot the terrorist and get killed by him anyway and leave Harper in the void of wherever side characters go in video games. But wait, there's more. That hacker nerd lady, who looks like Miley Cyrus, dies and she is the only one who knows the drone and launch code so everybody dies. This leaves the player with a choice: kill your best friend or kill everyone else. All of this wouldn't bother the average player because the game is so easy you can run around with your secondary pistol going for nutshots so you don't even notice the gaping plot holes.

Second, what's a CoD game without a good multiplayer? Well obviously this one. The so called "lag compensation" is the most direct form of Internet communism. It's supposed to get rid of hosting prowess for snubby rich kids with 100mbs broadband, but all it does is give users with a slower connection an edge. The compensation adds ping to your own connection to match the ping of the opponent, but 9 times out of 10 it overcompensates. So let's say little Jimmy over there has perfect broadband and you have dial up connection (imagine). His ping response is going to SKYROCKET to match yours and then overcompensate for it, leaving him in the dust and a broken controller. I'm not even going to get into the little "fixes" they added to the game modes (like the time limit and round system on domination) or the dismal weapons cache.

Finally, the zombies is the royal offender for horrendous gameplay. I really liked the Blops zombies with it's room to room survival methods and witty map layouts and characters, but the Blops II zombies totally abandoned it. This "Tranzit" mode is barely "fun" at all since once the bus leaves and your friends get in it and you don't, you're stuck to defend yourself until you get overrun by zombies or run into the omnipresent lava traps. The cornfields are a complete waste of data with their zombies which somehow float in midair to perform sexual intercourse upon your avatar's face and the maps are nothing but circuitous boli of stench that get boring after just two looks. I would write more but I'm too busy inflicting pain on myself for wasting my time on this "game."

Pros:

The game case fell off the table and landed on a mosquito that just so happened to have West Nile virus. Whoopie.
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