An added chapter of bullhonkey to an old classic

User Rating: 6.5 | Awesomenauts PC
Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't grown up in the age of the platformer, the age of the side-scroller, in the age of 2D gaming, would I still be this volturuous to games of the same genre that were released say in the last two years? Seems harsh. But what am I supposed to do? Forget all those wasted years in my parents basement with only a box of tissues and an NES?

I remember how in a game like Metroid for the NES, finding an upgrade was sweeter than boning a hott chick in the backseat of a car. Maybe because there wasn't that many, a decent amount of time passed before finding the next one, and it took a lot of skill and/or searching to eventually locate the darn things. In Awesomenauts (the game I'm supposed to be reviewing instead of brain farting) there's just too many minor upgrades, weapon attachments and other abilities (a problem I see with too many games these days). I mean Christmas would suck if it came every day, not mention your parents would be broker than a goat.

Maybe what it is is that 2D platformers have been around for just too long and its time to slap a dunce-cap on their fat heads. Maybe Awesomefarts is just light-hearted and flashy enough to be worthwhile in different ways than how the classics were worthwile. Heck it's a different generation. Either adapt or stop winning, like a geezer who sticks his middle-finger up at a passing skateboarder.

Now what am I on about??? Let's just sum it up like this: It's better than Instrusion 2 and worse than Cave Story. There. You happy?