PAX '07: Uwe Boll publicizes Postal, plays blame game

Controversial filmmaker makes a surprise appearance to trumpet his latest movie; says lackluster game plots are the reason his game-to-film adaptations aren't critically well-received.

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SEATTLE--As the first of several planned Q&A sessions with Penny Arcade founders Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik wound down, the duo announced that they had a very special guest to toss to the lions of this year's Penny Arcade Expo. While the team said they had initially planned to offer up very special guest Jack Thompson to provide a counterpoint to the day's offerings, Holkins dejectedly revealed that they could not work out an agreement with the controversial Florida lawyer. With that intro, his stead took the stage, and it turned out to be none other than widely reviled game-to-film adaptation specialist Uwe Boll.

Uwe, in the flesh.
Uwe, in the flesh.

Director of such roundly panned game-to-film adaptations as BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark, Boll took to the stage to trumpet his latest artistry, Postal. Though the filmmaker's presence initially stunned the crowd, who were in extremely jovial spirits following the aforementioned Penny Arcade Q&A, many quickly regained their senses and made a mass exodus in protest.

However, many more hung around to get their first look at Postal, a reel of which Boll was quick to run. The preview began inside the cockpit of one of the fated aircraft destined for the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. After patting themselves on the back for a job well done, two terrorists get into a heated debate regarding the exact number of virgins promised to them in the afterlife. At which point they call up Osama bin Laden, who kindly informs them that it will be "20." Case closed.

The scene then transitions to what appeared to be a Department of Motor Vehicles office. Within, a disgruntled individual forced to give up his spot in line due to inaccurate paperwork begins to shoot up the place, as attendants passively look on behind their shield of bulletproof glass. After some hammy dialogue about the world needing to come together in unity by filling their hands with hugs and not guns, the screening ended.

According to Boll, the film is designed to be a parody of the current political climate that, in his view, is defined by religious extremists on all sides. He also hopes that the film will help break the taboo of referencing 9/11, as well as promote healing on the subject through humor. He feels that it is his best work yet, primarily because he has put a lot more effort into this script than in films prior.

After Boll's explanation of the film, several conventiongoers stepped up to the Q&A mic to launch acerbic insults at the self-styled auteur, as well as ask a few genuine questions. In response to several questions that essentially distilled to, "Why do you keep making bad movies?" Uwe offered several explanations.

First, Boll said that the stories in his films are lacking due to the fact that his source material isn't good to begin with, offering up House of the Dead as an example. He went on to say that Sega had approved the film's script, and that it ended up making $80 million worldwide, yet only took about $7 million to make.

Boll also claimed that because his movies continue to make money, they are therefore a success. In the case of BloodRayne, he said that the movie diverged from the game so drastically because it was intended to be a trilogy. As such, he wanted to fill in backstory for the character with the first installment.

Boll concluded his appearance by simply stating, "I go my own way, I'm not going with the system."

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