According to the premise of Destroy All Humans!, the latest game from Pandemic, the developers of Star Wars: Battlefront and Mercenaries, the human race is under siege by the Furons, a race of highly-developed little gray men, intent on bending humanity to their will and sucking out our precious brain DNA for use in their cloning procedures. Given that the human race is likely to mobilize to stop the incipient invasion, it does seem odd that the Furons can't manage to muster more than a single dude to send down to the planet, but it all seems to work out ok, due to their ability to clone him whenever he dies. That, and their cache of advanced weaponry, should be enough to conquer the planet and absorb all of humanity's sweet, sweet cranial juices.
Of course, it'll help if you have our walkthrough for the game. We've got the rundown on each and every mission in the game, including the side missions in each of the game's six areas. Note that we're not including the locations of the many hidden Alien Probes in this guide, as all they really do is unlock more concept art.
Mission: Destination Earth!
- Learn The Controls and Weapons
Destination Earth! is a simple tutorial mission, which is going to get you acquainted with the basic controls of Destroy All Humans. These controls are going to change from console to console, so we're not going to bother rehashing them here. First off, you'll have to face off against a group of cows; scan their brains to learn their moo-y thoughts, then use your telekinesis powers to kill them off. After killing the subsequent farmer, extract his brain by tapping on the button. (You can hold down the button to extract brains, but it'll take longer and use up more concentration.)
After killing off the farmhands, a couple of cops will arrive, so head back to your ship and take them out. Avoid crossing the lake if possible; Crypto will die instantly if he becomes submerged. When the cops are dead, extract their brains and get back into your ship. With its massive Death Ray, destroy the four buildings noted on your map to spur the military into action. The tanks here are going to be your most significant threats, so take them down quickly; if you wish, you can switch to your Abducto Beam and drag them into the lake here, but they'll probably hit you a bit if you get too close, so using your Death Ray may be the simplest course of action.
After all of the tanks are destroyed, your initial mission here will be complete, but you'll likely have to return to the ground to harvest enough DNA to unlock your next mission. Doing so isn't too difficult, since your human targets will come back to life shortly after you kill them. Don't forget that your anal probe can instantly pop a human's brain out if you fire it at someone while it's fully charged. You can also run some of the side missions here for extra DNA rewards. Many of them can be run multiple times for multiple rewards. When you get the pop-up indicating that you have enough DNA to unlock the next mission, return to the mothership to attempt it.
Found: In one of the farm fields near where you first begin the game.
Goal: Collect four brain stems in two minutes. Easily accomplished. You can keep doing this multiple times for super DNA amounts, since you get the DNA for the brainstems in addition to the reward.
Reward: 150 DNA
Found: In the field near the initial saucer landing point.
Goal: Destroy all of the buildings in the town within three minutes. This is obviously going to require you to get up in the saucer, but is perfectly doable if you can avoid or destroy the anti-aircraft guns and missiles along the highway.
Reward: 200 DNA
Found: Near the grain silo in the farmlands near the beginning of the game.
Goal: Destroy 6 farmers in 1:30. Higher levels will see you killing more farmers in the same amount of time, which will be difficult before you get the better weapons.
Reward: 200 DNA
Found: Near the initial saucer landing point.
Goal: Race from checkpoint to checkpoint as Pox calls them out to you and complete the race within two minutes. You'll have to avoid enemy fire and use your rocket pack to get from point to point as quickly as possible.
Reward: 175 DNA
Mission: Earth Women Are Delicious!
- Find a Human to Abduct
- Destroy The Fair
Your goal here is to infiltrate the nearby fair, find a particularly dumb human, and bring them back to your saucer for probing. Doing so will require you to go undercover as a human yourself, which can be accomplished by pointing at a human and pressing one of your buttons to erect a psychic projection around your tiny grey body. If you do so, then you'll be able to pass through crowds without raising a fuss from the humans, which is good, because the fairgrounds are dense with humans, and it'll be impossible to hypnotize the human you're looking for unless they're not aware of your presence.
Start out by adapting the form of one of the humans outside the fairgrounds, then run into the fair and look for people with red clouds above their heads to scan. You can scan anyone you like, and doing so will restore your concentration, allowing you to stay disguised longer, but the ones with the red clouds are the mission-critical scans, as they'll point you in the direction of Miss Rockwell, a beauty pageant winner and apparently the dumbest woman in town. You'll earn the Hypno Blast power at this point, which will let you hypnotize Miss Rockwell into walking back to your saucer with you. Be sure you have a full concentration meter before you attempt to use it on her, though, as it'll take around half a bar to fire off. When you're ready, find Miss Rockwell in the tent in the center of the fair, hypnotize her, and escort her back to your saucer.
When you're back at the saucer, you'll have to almost immediately get back into it and destroy the fair to cover your tracks. It's going to be well-covered by flak guns near the bridge and near the road, so you may want to go ahead and take those out before destroying the 13 buildings in the fairgrounds. The merry-go-round is the funnest building to destroy; try using your abducto ray and whipping tanks or cars into it. After all the buildings are down, you'll win the mission.
After returning to your mothership at the end of this mission, check Pox's Lab to obtain a new upgrade for both Psychokinesis and your Zap-O-Matic. If you can afford both of these, go ahead and buy them before heading out for your next mission.
Mission: Citizen Crypto
- Avoid Police Detection
- Impersonate the Mayor and Assuage the Citizens
Note that you must avoid detection by the police in this mission; if your awareness meter goes up two ranks, then you'll probably have to start over. With your power of psychic projection, though, this shouldn't be too difficult to work out.
To begin with, walk forward from your ship and mindscan the radioactive cows near your saucer. They desire nothing more than…brainnnnsssss. They, and the scientists that created them, will have to be destroyed. Note that the cows explode when they die, so if you want to take down the scientists from long range, you can use your PK power to pick up the cows and launch them through the air towards the field that the scientists are snooping around in. Regardless of how you take them down, you'll need to kill the scientists to move on to the next part of the mission.
After you do so, the mayor will appear and scamper off, intent on addressing the citizenry and revealing your dastardly plot. You'll only have a couple of minutes to get to him and stop him, but it only takes around 30 seconds to reach him; just holobob yourself as a citizen and get over there quick. When you near his location, mind scan someone to recharge your concentration, then walk up next to the mayor, unmask yourself, then quickly holobob him before he notices you. Doing so will automatically warp you to the mayor's speech, where you'll be expected to convince the citizens that nothing is going on.
To do so, you'll have to either outright lie to them, or pander to their peculiar sense of rural morals. If you happen to anger them, they'll eventually grow, well, angry; you have to avoid pumping out three wrong answers to them. Here's what we used to get past this section:
- Tell The Truth
- Blame Communism
- Act Patriotic
- Threaten Communists
- Make Empty Promises
- Insult Santa Modesta
When you get past the speech, the mission is complete. You'll have unlocked a new Death Ray upgrade for your saucer for doing so, so grab it before heading out to your next mission.
Mission: Teenage Zombies from Outer Space!
- Infiltrate the Drive-In
- Replace Majestic Brainwashing Strip with Pox's Strip
Upon taking this mission, you'll receive your first glimpse at the mysterious Silhouette, the apparent leader of Majestic. Rather than track him down, though, you'll be tasked with heading to the drive-in and killing off the Majestic agents there; apparently they're back to their subliminal-messaging ways, but this time they're using film instead of the television stations. When you off the agents, Pox will tell you to retrieve a nearby filmstrip which he dropped into the nearby army base. There aren't many soldiers, so run over and grab the filmstrip, then return it to the projector in the drive-in to play your own little very special episode.
When you do deliver the film, you'll need to defend the projector against the Majestic agents that'll try to destroy it. With your Disintegrator Ray, this shouldn't be too difficult; you can also just PK Push enemies up into the sky to be rid of them. After a couple minutes of combat, you'll be free and clear and the mission will end. In addition to a new upgrade for your saucer's Death Ray, you'll also unlock a new B-Movie as the result of this mission, allowing you to watch a snippet from the classic Plan 9 from Outer Space.
Found: Near the City Hall in the more populated part of town.
Goal: Destroy nine buildings in the town within three minutes. This is difficult because the nearest landing pad for your saucer is quite a ways away, and because a number of army vehicles instantly spawn in when you accept the mission. It's best to hold off on doing this until you have the Sonic Boom weapon for your saucer, which should let you complete it more easily.
Reward: 200 DNA
Found: Behind one of the buildings on the main road through the town.
Goal: Destroy 12 Civilians in 1:30, using only the Zap-O-Matic. (Be sure to upgrade it before attempting.)
Reward: 200 DNA.
Found: Off the road that runs perpendicular to the bridge, on the town side.
Goal: Reach every checkpoint Pox calls out within two minutes.
Reward: 175 DNA
Found: Near the farmhouse in town, on the same road as the town hall.
Goal: Destroy six cows in 30 seconds. If you have the Disintegrator Ray, it's relatively easy to get 12 in 30 seconds, so try this multiple times. The limit goes up to 20 cows in 30 seconds for 300 DNA; if you have a double or triple Disintegrator Beam, this becomes the easiest way to make tons of DNA, since so many cows spawn. You can run it as much as you want at the upper limit of difficulty, letting you make 1,000 DNA every couple of minutes, minus time spent returning to the mothership to stock up on disintegrator ammo.
Reward: 200 DNA
Mission: Alien Pool Party
- Find the Mayor
- Destroy the Pool Party
Your goal in Santa Modesta is to find the mayor; your mission will fail if anyone sees your true identity, though, so you'll have to holobob yourself as soon as possible and continually mindscan to recharge your concentration. In actuality, this isn't quite as cut and dry as the game makes it out to be, so if you happen to get spotted by a civilian or two, don't worry about it.
Unfortunately, actually finding the mayor is going to take a little while. You can scan people with red swirls on their heads to find out something about a pool party, but actually locating it is another matter entirely, thanks to the Levittown layout of Santa Modesta. Your best bet is to look for small wooden signs on street corners pointing you towards the pool party, which is in a commercial section of town, at what appears to be a motel or an apartment block. When you reach it, scan the mayor and some of the civilians until you get the order from Pox to trash the place. You'll have to kill all eight civilians in the area to do so; be sure to hit the mayor with a fully-powered anal probe shot, as you can get up to 100 DNA from his brain.
After you kill all of the civilians around the pool party, Pox will grant you a disintegrator weapon with which you can start chopping up the cops. This uses ammo, but there's plenty of ammo pickups in the parking lot near the pool party. You'll need to reduce the Santa Modesta police force to half strength, which means that you'll need to kill around 30 cops, but that shouldn't be too difficult a task. Given the traffic jam that the influx of cops creates, try flinging their cars into them or into each other to create some massive explosions. After killing enough policemen, the mission ends.
Mission: Televisions of Doom!
- Uncover the Majestic Brainwashing Plot
- Convert the TV Antennas to Receive Mothership Signals
After hearing the initial Majestic conversation here, you'll have to track the car that the goons are riding in and destroy it. It can be difficult to catch thanks to your less-than-stellar footspeed, but if you keep it in sight by using your jetpack, it'll eventually turn around, allowing you to pick it up with your PK powers and fling it off the road; after that, all you have to do is throw it into buildings until it blows up. When that's done, grab the suitcase that appears nearby, then head to the television station to mindscan the scientist there that Majestic was interested in. You'll probably have a military-level alert status by this point, though, so you may want to hop on top of a building or something and lie low for a while until the coast is clear.
When you find Sleepy Ernst at the television station, you'll have to scan him, then kill him, then destroy his car. All of this can be accomplished with nothing more than your PK powers, so if you want to remain telebobbed, feel free to do so. After the car's been destroyed, Pox will order you back into town to adjust some of the home's television dishes so that they're more receptive to the mothership's signals. When you reach the initial waypoint, you'll be given the command to bend nine antennae in the area within three minutes. By jumping from rooftop to rooftop, you should be able to reach them all with plenty of time left over. To bend an antenna, focus on it with your PK power and hold the button down; after a few seconds, it'll bend and you can move on to the next one.
After unintentionally killing most of an entire neighborhood, the mission will end. Pox will have an upgrade for your Disintegrator Ray, so pick that up before heading back down to Earth.
Mission: Aliens Stole My Brain Stem!
- Retrieve Remaining Brainstems from Signal Overload
- Collect 300 DNA from Living Humans
Now that you've managed to destroy a dozen people's heads, it's time to get out there and collect their brains, too! They're still just kind of lying around the neighborhood, so you'll have to retrieve them. Pox also wants you to collect at least 300 DNA from living humans while you're out and about.
Near the saucer, you'll come across your first EMP device. These suckers will pop out a field of energy that will overload your weapons and your jetpack, reducing you to only your PK powers for offense. Luckily, your PK grab can fling the EMP devices off into the stratosphere, so you shouldn't have any particular trouble avoid their fields. Note also that there are some Majestic agents near some of the brainstems; if you can, hit them with a few fully-charged anal probes, as their brains are usually worth at least 50 DNA. They can see through your disguises if you get too close.
All in all, if you can survive, then this mission isn't too difficult, and it'll net you a good amount of DNA as well.
Mission: This Island Suburbia
- Investigate Human Scientists
- Retrieve Majestic Agent for Probing
Your initial goal here is to run around and brainscan four scientists near the diners in the area around your saucer. This is easiest to do if you holobob yourself, obviously enough, so do so and track down the scientists. One of them may be driving around in an ice cream truck; to get him out, just pick it up with PK and set it down again.
After you've scanned all of the scientists, you'll learn that they're responsible for altering the food supply in order to make the citizenry paranoid and hostile to the Red menace; it's up to you to put a stop to it, as this will make your task of conquering Earth much more difficult. You'll need to destroy the diners and food outlets in the area if you want to end the experiment. This is rather easy to accomplish if you hop back into your saucer and use it to blow the diners and the scientists as they exit the buildings.
After that's accomplished, you'll have to destroy the Majestic car and the army convoy it's attempting to bring into town. Take note of the hovering, green powerups around town; these will restore your ship's shields should you take damage, and you likely will, due to the many anti-aircraft assets the army is bringing to bear. Regardless, you'll need to use that Death Ray of yours to destroy all of the marked targets before you can move on with your mission.
When you do so, Pox will pop up and let you know about a remaining Majestic agent that he wants you to capture. In order to get to him, you'll need to land your ship, as the area around the agent is crawling with anti-air units. When you do land, though, you can hide out on the beach for a while until your wanted level drops, then holobob yourself and run across town to reach the agent. This is where things get kind of tough…
Unfortunately the agent is going to be surrounded by cops and military equipment; getting to him and planting the suggestion ("Get ready for Probing!") will likely require you to be holobobed. Keep in mind that the Majestic agent can break your cover, though, so try and use your hypno powers from as far away as possible. When you've implanted the suggestion, the Majestic agent will start heading towards your ship, so holobob yourself again and start following him. Unfortunately, the suggestion probably won't last the entire way back to your ship; if you notice the agent breaking free, then you'll probably have to pick him up with PK and run him back to the saucer while he's in midair. You don't appear to be able to use the Probing command twice, so that's your best bet.
After you bring the agent back to the saucer, feel free to buy the new Zap-O-Matic upgrade from Pox before moving on to your next mission.
Mission: South By Southwest
- Escalate the War with Majestic by Destroying As Much As Possible
There's not much to say about this mission - you're going to be given a new weapon (the Ion Detonator) and a new saucer weapon (the Sonic Boom), and let loose on Santa Modesta, given orders to just kill anything and everything that gets in your way. You'll need to start out by destroying ten vehicles, which shouldn't be difficult to do when the police start coming your way. If you lob an Ion Detonator at a vehicle and blow it when it's next to the car, it'll explode quite satisfactorily.
Next up is causing 20,000 dollars worth of damage to Majestic property. Reaching this number will require you to destroy four or five of their cars, but they're tougher than normal cars, and even tanks, so you'll have to scout about for more Ion ammo before you pull this off. When you do, however, you'll switch over to destroying Majestic buildings, which will suddenly be highlighted for you. If you're decent at ground combat, you may want to use your Ion Detonator and Disintegrator Ray to destroy the anti-air emplacements near the hotel before getting up in your saucer and destroying the buildings themselves. Just be careful, as the Majestic troopers are no joke.
When you've gone up into your saucer and destroyed the remaining buildings, the mission ends.
Mission: Foreign Correspondent
- Find Bert Whither and Brainwash Him
Pox wants to use television to brainwash massive numbers of Americans simultaneously. To do so, though, you'll need some kind of established personality, someone that people trust. Hmm, how about Bert Whithers? Although he's been out of the limelight for a while, he should be ideal for the job, assuming you can find him. Apparently he's gone underground - literally - so you'll need to track him down and bring him back to your ship.
To begin with, you'll have a nerdy scientist-type attempting to help you on your quest; he doesn't do much, but you can continually mindscan him to get some tips about the level. If you follow him long enough, he'll lead you up the hill to the location of a cook standing near a diner. This guy is supposedly the only civilian in the area that can access Whither's location (which is inside a cave within the large, barbed-wire enclosed facility near your position), so go ahead and hypnotize him. If you don't want to bother, just holobob him and make your way towards the enemy base.
In point of fact, your holobob isn’t going to be all that important, as there are numerous Majestic agents around the camp that will cause it to drop if you get too close. You can keep it up by PKing them and flinging them over the barbed wire, while using the cops to keep your concentration up. As you do so, work your way around to the right and find a little shack that leads into a cave here. Unfortunately the cave is blocked off by forcefields. In order to get past it you'll have to knock out the large tower near the shack. You might be able to do this by hypnotizing the cop standing next to it, but we found it easiest to just drop our holobob and destroy it with an Ion Grenade, then run into the cave to get a cutscene.
After the cutscene, any cops that were previously shooting at you will be gone, allowing you to hypnotize Bert and command him to return to the ship. After doing so, holobob as a cop and start following him out of the fort; if you get narc'ed out by a Majestic agent, run ahead a bit until you're out of the base, as the anti-infantry guns will cut you up pretty quick. You have to stay near Bert, though, so be careful not to get too far ahead of him.
When Bert leaves the base, holobob again and start following him, doing your best to dodge any incoming fire. There'll be plenty of Majestic agents on the beach path, though, so you'll probably be unmasked eventually, but if you have full shields, then you should be able to just jetpack over their heads and meet Bert back at the ship to end the mission.
Mission: Suburb of the Damned
- Defend the Transmission Towers
In Suburb of the Damned, you're going to be tasked with defending a pair of television towers through which Bert Whithers is delivering his speech. You'll have to prevent the towers from being destroyed by the U.S. Army, which is going to send dozens of infantrymen as well as tanks to the towers in an attempt to destroy them.
Now, you can try to defend these towers by staying on the ground, but it'll be much easier to do it by hopping into your saucer and using your upgrades to take down the tanks and troop transports as they come in. It's critical to learn the location of the health and ammo pickups for your saucer; there's a health pickup above the church, for instance, while there's a Sonic Boom ammo pickup near a building down the well-treed hill. If you can hit these as they spawn, then you should be able to keep your ship in pretty good condition, leaving you to knock out the tanks as they arrive. For the most part, they'll shoot at you rather than the towers, meaning that the only threats to the towers will be the infantry, who deal minimal damage. Unfortunately they're tough to kill without accidentally blasting the towers with your death ray, but it can be done.
After a few minutes of fighting, you'll see a cutscene in which the general summons in some top-secret Army mechs to finish you off. These guys fire machineguns, but aren't too difficult to knock around with your sonic boom, so blast them off for another minute or so to finish the mission. Another Ion Detonator upgrade will await you back on the mothership, so load it up before moving on.
Mission: It's a Wonderful Armageddon
- Destroy Santa Modesta
Well, now that you have the Quantum Deconstructor, it's time to get busy on Santa Modesta. With the Quantum Deconstructor, you shouldn't have any problems taking down the many buildings that are your targets here. This is a pretty short mission, as after you destroy your targets, you're done!
Found: On top of a rock spire near the bowling alley.
Goal: Reach every checkpoint Pox calls out within three minutes.
Reward: 175 DNA
Modesta Massacre II
Found: On a hill near the church and TV station.
Goal: Destroy 12 female humans in 1:30.
Reward: 200 DNA
Mission: Whatever Happened to Crypto-136?
- Recover Furon Technology
- Rescue Crypto-136
Well, it appears that Crypto 136's ship went down in the desert around Area 42, and it's up to you to track him down. To begin with, head towards the dot on your map; you'll find the first of five pieces of Crypto's ship. After you grab the first one, you'll be targeted towards the next four. Each of these are going to be guarded by Majestic, so you won't be able to disguise yourself, and even if you could, you'd have to drop your holobob to pick up the pieces. Unfortunately, the last two pieces are inside an army base, which will be difficult to infiltrate without a disguise. You're best off keeping a holobob up while you run around in the base, then, and only decloak to pick up the pieces when you spot them. This will also keep you protected from the automatic turrets that are set up around the perimeter of the base.
After you have all five pieces of the ship, you'll be tasked with entering a Majestic base nearby and rescuing 136, who's apparently being held captive. There are too many agents around for you to keep up a holobob, so don't worry about it overmuch. Just find the central building in the base and look around for scientists with a pair of pink markers over their head; hypnotizing one of them will force them to run around and unblock the force fields locking you off from entering the building. When that's done, head inside, being careful not to get banged up too much. You can easily die here from the Majestic agent's fire.
After you penetrate the lab, destroy all of the Furon remains with your Ion or Disintegrator weapons, then grab the data tape and make a dash back to your saucer to end the mission. You'll probably have to kill off a few troops when you reach the ship, so save some Ion ammo until you reach it. You'll have the option of purchasing a new Psychokinesis upgrade when you return to the ship.
Mission: The Mutant Menace
- Infiltrate the Majestic Lab
- Destroy the Mutants
- Destroy the Majestic Base
At the outset of this mission, you'll be much closer to the Majestic base than you were in the previous mission. Head inside and return to the lab where they were dissecting 136 - the doors should still be open. A scientist inside can be brainwashed into opening the upstairs forcefield, which will let you pass through the walkway into the other lab nearby, where Majestic is working on its mutant forces. Destroy everything in the lab, then head back outside, where your goal will be to destroy the four tesla coils within the walls of the base.
This is where things are going to get very rough, as there'll be hordes of Majestic agents, as well as tanks, that will be gunning for you and attemping to take you out. It can take as few as two hits to be killed in here, and the tanks are quite adept at leading you. Although there are radioactive cows that can apparently be used to destroy the coils, we found it much safer to just jump over the walls, use PK to fling around the robots on perimeter defense, and attack the coils from outside the walls by lobbing Ion Grenades over the wall. Disintegrator ammo works on the coils as well; they'll just take longer to blow up. If you need to restock you can head over the wall to find ammo pickups or head up to the military base to do the same.
When the tesla coils have been destroyed, you'll have to head back to your saucer and use it to destroy a few more of the Majestic buildings. There won't be any air defenses in the base after your destruction of the coils, but there will be tanks and some ballooned mines, so watch out. After destroying the base, feel free to return to the mothership to move on.
Mission: Duck and Cover
- Infiltrate the Air Force Base
- Detonate the Nuclear Device
It's time to get rid of a thorn in your side; General Armquist is inspecting an Air Force base near your position at the outset of this mission. Rather than just running in and capping him, though, you'll want to go for a more thorough destructive power by hijacking a nuclear weapon and detonating it. To do so, head towards the marker on your map, holobob as one of the soldiers in your path, then head through the gate into the base when it opens to bring in a truck. You have to keep yourself below Police awareness, so you'll have to stay holobobbed for most of this mission. When you find the truck, hypnotize the driver and command him to drive it, then use PK on the gate switch to open it up and let the truck out.
At this point, you'll have to start escorting the truck along the road, moving obstacles out of its way so that it has an unfettered path. If it can't get by an obstacle, it'll stop and honk, so move anything in the road out of the way with PK until it can move on. Try to stay holobobbed as much as possible, because there are guards around the area. If possible, avoid harming them; if they get in the way of the truck, just PK them and move them off the road. If you want to save your concentration, just pick up something with PK and let it go when it's off the road; it's not necessary to push everything away, as it'll drain your concentration.
After moving away a few rocks, you'll come to a roadblock with mines beyond it. The mines here apparently can't be removed with PK, so you'll need to remove your holobob and destroy them with your Zap-o-matic weapon. Alternately, you can pick up one of the roadside guards and drag their body along the ground, which will detonate the mines and allow you to remain holobobbed. When every mine is up (and they stretch a ways down the road, so be thorough), remove the roadblocks and let the truck start up again.
When you reach the outside gate of the Air Force base, remove the roadblock signs first, then move a ways down the fence to the left, remove your holobob, and jump the barbed wire and enter the base. Reholobob on the first soldier you see before opening the gate and letting the truck in. Be mindful of Majestic agents in the area, though; you'll need to keep your disguise up while you're running the truck to its destination, unless you want to get thoroughly shot up.
When the truck reaches its destination, you'll have to protect it for around 30 seconds from scientists that want to dismantle the bomb. We managed to keep our holobob up almost throughout the entire time, but we're not sure if the no-police-warning level caveat is still active here, so you may not need to. The scientists are easily killed by flinging them around with PK, though. When Pox gives you the signal to get clear, run towards your ship icon on the minimap; if you can use your jetpack to get above the rock wall and onto the next road, you should be clear. If you find the jump difficult to make, you can head in any direction; when you get far enough away the mission-ending cutscene will play.
Found: Inside the large military base that's destroyed in Duck and Cover.
Goal: Destroy 12 humans in 2:00. Not hard at all due to the density of the base's inhabitants. Reward: 200 DNA
Found: On a hill above the saucer landing site that you use the first time you come to Area 42.
Goal: Destroy the remainders of the human base. (May only be findable after Duck and Cover.) This is easiest to accomplish if you have the Quantum Deconstructor.
Reward: 400 DNA
Found: On a hill overlooking the road leading into the Air Force base, near the gate.
Goal: Reach every checkpoint Pox calls out within four minutes.
Reward: 175 DNA
The Great Cow Race
Found: Along the side of the long, winding road.
Goal: Race against a pack of cows to ensure the speed of your jetpack. You will not win this race if you get too far off the ground, so hop once, then flip on the jetpack just before you land to skim the ground. This will also let you avoid the anti-aircraft fire. This is a tough race to win, so get it once if you really want it and then don't bother with it again.
Reward: 200 DNA
- Escape from Imprisonment
- Retrieve Your Weapons
- Retrieve Your Ship
- Destroy the Island Base
Well, an actual prerendered cutscene. Combined with the name of this mission, that doesn't bode well, and indeed, you're going to find yourself shot down as soon as you begin the mission. In order to escape from your cage, you'll need to mind control the nearby scientist and force him to release you. Your guns will pop up on your radar, but until you reach them, you'll have to rely on the power of PK to get you past the Majestic foes in your path. Luckily there are only a couple of them.
When you find the gun and clip for it (which is nearby), you'll have to start scanning nearby workers to track down your ship. Break open every crate that has a UFO marking on the side to find more ammo for your weapons. When you've scanned all the workers around the docks, you'll learn that there's a barge that goes back and forth to an abandoned fort, which is apparently where the Army's holding your saucer. Unfortunately the barge doesn't seem to be a workable form of transportation, so you'll have to retrieve your jetpack from another hangar nearby, then jump from buoy to buoy across the water until you reach the island fort.
When you do make landfall, you'll have to mask yourself, avoid the Majestic agents, and reach your ship. You'll need to hypnotize a worker to free it from the clamp it's attached to, but you won't be able to take off just yet; no, you'll have to find some power cells first. There are two near the ship; the rest are off on a boat to which you'll have to jump. When you've retrieve all six of the cells, head back to the saucer site and take off. You'll need to destroy the island after you do so, so you may want to run around and blow up the anti-air assets with your Ion Detonator before heading up. Another upgrade will be available to you.
Armquist Vs. The Furons!
- Track Armquist to his Meeting
- Disrupt the Joint Chiefs of Staff
- Kill Armquist
It's time to finish this. After receiving his orders from Silhouette, Armquist heads off to meet with the Joint Chiefs and inform them of the new hierarchy in town. As soon as the mission begins, you'll need to start following Armquist to his meeting. He'll drive through the town, stopping at stoplights and the like. It's probably a bit easier just to jetpack up to a rooftop and follow him by jumping from roof to roof; if you run around on the ground you'll constantly have to deal with Majestic agents dropping your disguise. Either way is perfectly workable, although you will have to deal with flak fire if you jet around on the rooftops.
When you reach the meeting spot, your objective will shift; you'll have to head around to the side of the building and hypnotize the chief of the Navy into falling asleep. He'll be fairly secluded, although there is a robot and a Majestic agent in the area; if you fling them into the ocean you should be able to hypnotize the admiral, then holobob yourself as him to sneak into the meeting.
Another little choose-your-response game takes place here. In order to win, you apparently only need to get two right answers, so go ahead and choose:
- Blame Rowdy Kids
- Did You Catch the Assassin?
After those two answers, Armquist will attack! He wields a mighty mech suit for himself, not unlike the robot troopers that he's been throwing at you for a while now, but isn't terrifically difficult to bring down, especially if you use a few Ion Detonators on him. He has two main attacks, hand cannons and back-launching missiles, neither of which are too difficult to avoid. If you take a bunch of shield damage, try hiding behind the model ship outside the hangar to avoid the missiles until it recharges. See our video for more information on how to take him down.
After Crypto's little speech to the general, which seems to echo Jack Nicholson's little speech before his death in Mars Attacks, you'll complete the mission. Pox will have another upgrade for you, which will double the amount of concentration you can hold onto at a single time. Yay!
Union Stem Collection
Found: Inside the city limits, near one of the coasts.
Goal: Collect 15 brain stems in 2:30.
Reward: 150 DNA.
Union Town Tour
Found: In the industrial section of town.
Goal: Find the checkpoints Pox calls out to you and return within the time limit of 2:45.
Reward: 175 DNA
Mr. Crypto Goes To Capital City
- Investigate the White House
Now that you're in the big city, it's time to find out why Armquist is meeting with the president. You'll have to make it to the White House without getting up to an Army alert level; the easiest way to do this is to just holobob yourself and try to avoid any Majestic foes you see. You'll probably first come to the White House on its rear side, so walk around the fence until you spot the three scientists coming out. After mindscanning them, one of them will start running, so follow him. If you keep mindscanning him, you'll eventually learn his password, "Blue Rider."
At this point, head for the military installation that Pox orients you toward. You may need to be disguised as a scientist in order to get in, but in any case, walk up to the soldier near the main gates and use the Blue Rider password in conversation to open them up. When inside, walk towards the helicopter to trigger a cutscene between Armquist and Silhouette; after it ends, you'll have three minutes to get back to your shuttle before it's stolen! You won't have to remain in disguise anymore, though, so get back across the bridge leading towards the White House and follow the path back to your saucer! When you reach it, you'll need to clear out the Majestic agents surrounding it before you can lift off and complete the mission. Pox will have an Ion Detonator upgrade for you.
The Lone Gunman
- Find the President
- Kill the President
Your goal here is apparently to kill the President, although at first you'll just have to follow his car around town. Doing so is probably easier if you holobob yourself, although there are Majestic agents scattered around the parade route, so you'll need to steer well clear of them or PK them into the water.
Eventually, though, the motorcade will roll up to an army truck, and it'll all be revealed as an ambush set especially for you. You'll need to kill off all of the Majestic agents and soldiers that are marked out for you. Robot enemies are going to show up shortly after the ambush begins, however, and will make it difficult for you to survive amidst all the chaos, so you may want to hide inside the nearby Lincoln Memorialesque building and use it as cover against the various troops outside, at least until your shields recharge.
When everyone's dead, you'll have a minute and thirty seconds to get back to the real press conference and kill off the President. He's entrenched in front of the White House, surrounded by tanks and robots, making it difficult to reach him. Keep in mind that he only takes a couple shots to kill, so don't feel pressured to rush in when you still have 45 seconds left; you can hide out and get rid of the tanks and robots (the quickest way is to just PK them and push them quickly away; you don't have to worry about collateral damage, after all) before tracking the President down and offing him. It's still going to be tough to get out of the area, as numerous foes are going to start popping up when the Pres goes down, so you may want to try hopping on top of the White House if possible to avoid their fire.
Regardless, your objective now is to return to your ship before the meatbags destroy it. You have a good amount of time to reach the ship, but there will be tanks on the streets between you and it, so you'd be well advised to try and stay off them and behind buildings as often as possible. When you do finally get back to the ship, though, it's a simple matter of killing off a few bad guys before you can hop back into the saucer and take off to complete the mission. Your reward? An unlocked upgrade to your Zap-O-Matic.
The Furon Filibuster
- Stop the Senators from Entering the Capitol
This one's fairly easy, and pretty short to boot. Your goal here is to patrol the two entrances to the Capitol building near where you land and prevent the Senators from entering to vote on the presidential successor. It's up to you to stop them.
The two entrances to the building are fairly close together, and luckily, Senators won't try to use them simultaneously, so you can stay at the first entrance until you're told to move down to the other one, then defend there until you're told to return to the first. There are a lot of senators, and they'll be accompanied by Majestic agents and soldiers, but the senators themselves are fairly weak, capable of being taken down by a second or so of Zap-o-Matic fire.
Your Disintegrator Ray may be the best weapon for this mission, though, as it'll work more quickly on the enemy soldiers while still killing the Senators easily. There's plenty of ammo for them in the UFO boxes on either side of the entrances.
The senators appear as blue dots on your radar, so be sure to take them down before they enter the building. When you've destroyed all but the judicial branch of the government, return to the ship to receive another Disintegrator Ray upgrade.
- Destroy All Tesla Coils in Town
This is another fairly easy run-around-and-destroy-stuff mission. In it, you'll be responsible for taking down a number of Tesla coils that have been scattered around town. These can be destroyed in a couple of different ways; some will have scientists nearby manning control panels. If they have red circles over their heads, you can hypnotize them and force them to overload the coils; be sure to destroy the panels themselves afterwards for more Ion Detonator ammo. Otherwise, you'll just have to use your Disintegrator and your Ion Detonators on the coils themselves to blow them away. Be sure to holobob yourself as you travel from coil to coil, both to keep the alert level down and to avoid fire from the many soldiers in your path.
After you destroy all of the coils, return to the ship for the last two upgrades: an Ion Detonator upgrade and one for your Quantum Deconstructor. These will take almost 5,000 DNA to purchase together, so you may want to just head to Rockwell and start abusing the cow mission there to gain large amounts of DNA.
Attack of the 50 Foot President!
- Destroy the President!
- Destroy Silhouette!
Well, it's the last mission in the game, and, well, it's not terrifically difficult. You can die here, but only if you're somewhat uncareful or slow on the trigger.
As soon as you reach the White House, Silhouette will appear, with a giant robotic Roboprez in tow. This metallic monstrosity is out for blood, and you won't be able to take it on on foot; you'll need to hop back in your ship and start wailing on it with Sonic Booms and Quantum Deconstructors. It can take a lot of damage, so this isn't going to be a quick fight, and you'll have to deal with the numerous anti-aircraft vehicles on the ground while fighting it. Luckily, there isn't a timer involved here, and you should be able to hold up to eight rounds for your Quantum Deconstructor, so feel free to just run away from the Roboprez and start to take down the many AA vehicles scattered around the city. The Roboprez will move around after you damage him, so you'll have to deal with the missile launchers and Tesla coils eventually; you might as well get it over with at the beginning of the fight, so long as you can stay out of the Roboprez's range. While flying about, be sure to destroy as many buildings as you can to unlock powerups, and try to keep your health up as high as possible at all times.
When you're ready to deal with Roboprez, flip over to the Deconstructor and start circling around him. His most fearsome attack is the launch of a pair of heat-seeking missiles, but if you just strafe around him these shouldn't be able to connect; otherwise, the usual ducking and weaving that you issue forth with for the AA missiles should be able to keep them from impacting your craft. The tricky thing here is that most of your weapons won't do any damage to Roboprez unless they're direct hits, meaning your aiming reticule has to be right on top of him before you should fire off your weapons. The Deconstructor seems to do the most damage to him, but even with it you'll need to fire off well more than eight to finish him off. Luckily, he won't move around all that much except when you damage him, allowing you to run off and heal up or get more ammo before returning to his location and trying to hit him more.
Every so often the Roboprez will, as mentioned, run off to another area of the map after being damaged. This doesn't mean that he'll have any new attacks or anything; it'll just put him in an area where there's likely to be more anti-aircraft devices. If you can aim your weapons at his chest, then you shouldn't have too much of a problem finishing him off in a few minutes.
After killing Roboprez, it'll be time to land your ship and go mano-a-mano with Silhouette herself. Well, it's not really mano-a-mano, because she's really a woman, and because she has a bunch of Majestic agents to help her out. Still, she's not horrifically difficult to beat if you use your Disintegrator Ray and Ion Detonators on her over and over again. Although her health drains fairly quickly, she'll often use a kind of impenetrable shield that will protect her from damage for a few seconds and restore her health. Although you can't break her out of this shield, you don't really have to; after she uses it four or five times, she'll run out of energy and will be vulnerable to your fire. When that happens, just pelt her with shots until she keels over. When she's shielded, take the opportunity to blast through the rest of the enemies in the area and use your PK powers to repel the robots, and you should do fine.
After Silhouette is dead, you'll have won the game. Hooray!
Found: Near the National Statistical Reserve building in the downtown area.
Goal: Destroy 10 taxis in four minutes.
Reward: 200 DNA.
Found: On the rear lawn of the White House.
Goal: Find the checkpoints Pox calls out to you and return within the time limit of 3:00.
Reward: 300 DNA
Found: On the steps of the Capitol building.
Goal: Destroy 18 humans with the Zap-O-Matic within three minutes.
Reward: 200 DNA
Found: On the road in front of the Capitol.
Goal: Destroy all the buildings marked out within five minutes.
Reward: 200 DNA.
Every once in a while, you'll find yourself in need of DNA, either to unlock a new mission or to purchase an upgrade for your weapons or ship. There are a few ways to obtain DNA, of which we've listed the most easy here.
Find Alien Probes
There are numerous alien probes scattered around each area, with some areas having as few as 24 and others having up to 50. Although some of these are rather deviously placed, many of them are fairly easy to find as you run through the areas while performing missions. Each probe you find will be worth 75 DNA, which can add up quickly.
One of the simplest early-game methods of obtaining DNA is to head to Turnipseed Farms and find the cornfield with the numerous farmers in it, behind the silo and the lake. If you run around here and use your Anal Probe to destroy the farmers, they'll net you 25 DNA apiece, and will quickly respawn, allowing you to run circuits around the field without having to wait for them to reappear. You can make around 200 DNA every minute you do this, which should be enough to satiate yourself for most of the game.
What? I'm Not Having a Barbecue…
The side mission Rockwell BBQ in the Rockwell area is probably your best bet for repeatable and quick DNA. Although the hardest version of the mission, which requires you to kill 20 cows in 30 seconds, will be difficult to pull off before you have at least a dual-beam Disintegrator Ray, once you do find yourself capable of pulling it off, you can earn a thousand DNA every couple of minutes.