The bunnies are coming. Yes, I said the bunnies are coming. Private, do you need me to repeat it once more so your third ear can hear it? Give me those binoculars and let me see for myself. Good Lord, there are…What? No, this can't be real…50 of the little carrot munchers. Maybe more. It's hard to tell--they're all lined up in these creepy rows. Perfectly aligned, see? And they seem to be moving in step with one another…slowly…methodically.
Now this is weird. Once they get close enough, it's easy to see. Those bunnies are different colors. There's pink, pastel blue, and purple. We're even getting reports of red bunnies mixed in the group. Yes, there's one right now.
OK men, what have we got on hand? Those bunnies are getting too close for comfort, and I'll be damned if I let them get an inch closer. What have we got? Machine guns? Surface-to-air missiles? Tactical nukes? No? Wait…What? Repeat that, soldier. The only thing we've got to stem the tide of slowly advancing bunnies is more bunnies? What in the crap kind of two-bit, tin-can outfit is this…?
Alright then, if the higher-ups send us lemons, we're going to make sure we commit some lemon-flavored bunny murder. Grab that bunny and let it fly, Private. Ha! Now take another one and fire away. Oh wait. I see what's happening here. You've got to line those bunnies up by color, Private. Take this blue bunny and fire it over that group of two blue ones over there. No, over there. What are you, son, color blind? There you go! See, what'd I tell you? Line up three bunnies of the same color and they all go boom! Once you've got that figured out, you can destroy bunnies by the metric ton simply by lining them up by color and watching them fall.
And here's another trick: If you line up a bunny all the way on either the right or left margin and fire, the bunny will go around the bunnies in the front row then attach themselves to the bunnies in the back row. Now that's moxie and a fine example of the kind of can-do spirit we need from our rabbit-based weaponry. And, as it turns out, our undercover agents are saying that some bunnies have special powers. If you match three purple bunnies, they'll take out every bunny in a row or column, regardless of color. Red bunnies will take out everything around them. God, there's nothing I love more than making bunnies explode.
Oh, and see that meter at the bottom there? The latest intel says if you fill that meter up by taking down bunnies, you'll move on to the next level. Conversely, if you fail and that meter runs out, you'll be overrun by these crazy rodents then have to start the whole process over again.
Word has it the whole point of this exercise is for the rabbits to eventually make it to Hollywood and become famous? Not on my watch, soldier. Bunnies don't go to Hollywood. They go to aitch-ee-double- hockey-sticks if you know what I mean. Men, prepare yourselves. Say goodbye to your mamas and arm your bunnies. We go to war.